The Blasian – We Wish You All The Best

Reverse Oreo Sports has agreed to terms on the release of Kennedy Wong a.k.a. The Blasian.  Everyone at Reverse Oreo Sports wishes Mr. Wong all the best in his future endeavors.

The Blasian was part of this blog since its inception but the pressure might have been too much to bear and he hasn’t surfaced on this site in two months, a site he helped to create.  You might remember Mr. Wong from his not so weekly “Simply RiCOCKulous” posts or, as he was the resident expert, his single NASCAR post.

Although he will no longer be writing for this blog, his clever turn of phrase can be enjoyed on Facebook, where he is a frequent contributor to his friend’s walls…well…some of his friend’s walls.

Good luck and Godspeed to you Mr. Wong in whatever you decide to do, whether that be spinning vinyl or in the business world.

Have You Seen This Man? – The Blasian

Before I post my Jersey Shore update I thought I’d put out an amber alert on one of the writers of this blog, Kennedy Wong.  He was last seen on the pages of dmzsports.wordpress.com writing his weekly/bi-weekly/monthly/quarterly/???? Simply RiCOCKulous on March 17, 2010.  Don’t get me wrong, I like not having to turn my speakers down to read his posts but he does add a unique perspective on things going on in and out of the world of sports.  

This guy is a Blasian but it's not Kennedy Wong

 

If you see him, please ask him to sit in front of his computer and come up with some witty comments like only he can.  Actually, if you see him, tell him to spend less time on Facebook and more time contributing to this site.  How will you recognize him?  Since he’s a huge hoops fan, he should have a Memphis Tigers jersey on or an NBA jersey of whatever team is hot at the moment.  Since he’s such a huge NASCAR fan, maybe he’s wearing his Dale Jr. jacket or something like that.  And since he’s a huge football fan, he’ll probably be wearing something USC related and talking about how great the Trojans will be since he’s going to be going to school there.  Whatever he’s wearing, you’ll also notice him by the decibel level in your area suddenly going up by a power of ten when he enters the room. 

This is probably hanging in Kennedy's closet

 

Blasian, I miss you, The Bearded One misses you and Sitting Pugs misses you.  Come back soon.

Someone’s Simply-Wongless

Its been almost a month since we have heard from Kennedy Wong and Sittingpugs whispering sweet nothings to each other through Sports blogs, so I thought I would call this the Simply-Wongless to replace The Blasians “weekly, I mean bi-weekly, oh wait lets just make it quarterly” Simply Ricockulous. I thought you were are NBA guy or basketball guy….hasn’t there been big signings at the college ranks and playoff match ups? Fam, you truly are the one who is Ricockulous!

"Since Kennedy Wong isn't here no one on DMZ sports loves me! "

-DMZ sports

Video of the week:

Can you believe he plays D-3?

“Simply RiCOCKulous” (Mar 15 – 19, 2010)

How about KOREA: BLING BLING?!?

On Saturday I am officially requesting that the Korean Government change its slogan from “KOREA; SPARKLING!!” to “KOREA; SPARKLING FOOD POISONING.” I went out this last week with a couple of my fellow co-workers to celebrate the start of a new school year.  Naturally, I was psyched, because my personal life (ie…moving apts and a plethora of other things) had been keeping me busy and kind of aloof lately. So this was a great opportunity for me to spend “quality time” with some individuals I genuinely like!  And, after my colleagues decided that ingesting large amounts of it, would be the best way to actually turn me into a Soju Bottle (소주), then decided (and I, in my newly found Soju induced INFINITE WISDOM, concurred) that it would be a great idea to eat lots of delicious raw meat called Bossam (보쌈) and (probably rotten) fish parts.  However, for some reason, the combination of the food and Soju decided they didn’t like foreigners and caused your favorite Blasian to hold all day meetings for the next 2 days in the Porcelain Room (or as the Koreans call it the 화장실 – I’ll let you translate that one on your own). And seeing as how within the last 2 -3 weeks about 4 other English Teachers here have had some varying level of Food Poisoning.  I think my request to change the slogan is not completely RiCOCKulous……

But the week is already starting to get better, as I have beautiful young women writing me poems (thanks again by the way) and come on, it can’t get much better than that!!!  So now that we’re all caught up on the life of K. Wong, it’s time for this weeks’………“Simply RiCOCKulous!”

1) I’m going to go out on a limb here and predict the Heisman winner for next year in College Football right now!  JEREMIAH MASOLI!!!…That’s right he’s going to finally get Oregon over the hump and out of USC’s shadow and lead his team to prominence…Well, that’s probably what I would have wrote if he hadn’t just been suspended for the ENTIRE Football SEASON next year for one of the most RiCOCKulous things ever!! Mr. Masoli decided it would be a great idea to steal a pair of laptops and a guitar!

Dude you were probably going to make millions in a little bit over a year by being selected in the NFL Draft….but NOOO! U you just couldn’t wait till then to get some new computers and live out your John Mayer fantasies, could you???  And I understand that you needed a computer with the faster bandwidth and increased memory so you can get the most out of Windows 7 and finish writing your thesis on the virtues of Man Coverage vs Zone, buf if you needed a computer that bad, go to the BOOSTERS!! That’s what they are there for!!  So to Jeremiah “I just lost a shot at the Heisman and Millions of Dollars” Massoli,  you might be able to know where to attack a zone coverage but your decision making ability off the field is…“Simply RiCOCKulous”!

Say Bye-Bye Jeremiah!!

2) The BeardedMan recommended that I talk about the Family Love-Fest that is NFL D-II Draft Prospect Tony Washington and the fact that HE REALLY DOES LOVE his family a little too much, but I thought that went beyond the RiCOCKulous, to the just plain disturbing.  So for this weeks second entry, I’m going to talk about the bore fest that was the Pacquiao vs. Clottey fight on this past Saturday. OMG if you paid money to see that, I’m sooooooo sorry and you have my deepest condolences.  I understand that Clottey had a defensive strategy but dang!! The entire fight could be summed up like this. 1^st) Bell Rings 2^nd) Manny comes out and punches and Clottey comes out and goes into the fetal position for a little over 2 mins. And every once in awhile Clottey would come out of his shell to hit Pac-Man with the an UPPERCUT (which I have no idea how he never saw coming!!) And the worst part is…I chose to watch the fight rather than go to the Penis and Vagina Festival in Japan!…I guess I’ll know better next time!

Anyway, here’s to hoping the Mayweather vs. Mosley fight is WAY more entertaining.  So to those who conspired to deny us the Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight for the Clottey fight instead…you are “Simply RiCOCKulous”!

3) It is quite possibly the greatest time of the year for any basketball fan!  That’s right March Madness has officially descended upon us and if you are a manager, good luck getting people to do  work for the next couple of weeks…Plus, by now I’m sure you are tired of hearing about John Wall, Kentucky and Kansas!  And unlike the Mark or the BeardedMan I won’t continue to bore you with talk of the NCAA Tourney.  Instead I’ll focus on the ONLY BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT that matters…..that’s right, the N.I.T. aka the National Invitational Tournament (and not the “NOT INVITED Tournament” as some so rudely refer to it).

But in order to fully appreciate the majesty that is the N.I.T. let’s first imagine being the most powerful and respected person in your field and then having it all slip away when the new hot shot arrives to take your spot!  And now imagine the hard work you have ahead of yourself as you try to get back some semblance of the respect and power you had.  No, I’m not describing the plot for the new “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps” movie, but the history of the N.I.T. Tourney which is actually older and originally crowned the National Champion until the NCAA decided to expand it’s tourney!

The Business World's version of the N.I.T.

And just to prove to you how great the N.I.T. is…where else are you going to see Annual College Basketball powers like Memphis, North Carolina, and UCONN play this March?  That’s right not in that SISSY NCAA Tourney, but only in the N.I.T.  now add to that a great lineup a Cincinnati team that was ranked as high as the top teens this year and let the fun begin.  That other tourney has 65 teams. Which means anybody and they momma could get in!! But not so in the MANLY N.I.T., only the most hardened 32 teams were lucky enough to be selected for the Mortal Kombat of College Basketball!

As always, I'll be picking Sub-Zero!!

However, I do have some bad news for those of you Illinois fans b/c all though the Illini are a No. 1 seed in the DANGEROUS and EXCITING N.I.T., you won’t be able to go to the 1st-round game because Cirque du Soleil is performing at the Assembly Hall this week.  But irregardless of that, don’t think for one minute that the N.I.T. is not taken seriously by the participating institutions and its fans!

Is this really more important than the N.I.T.?!?!

So here are my predictions for the real Final Four…that’s right the N.I.T. Final Four; Memphis, Missippi St, UCONN and Cincy.  And despite the close call to Northeastern University…I’m  going with UCONN to win it all…So to all of those so called fans who will watch the SISSY NCAA Tourney and not the N.I.T. you guys are ….“Simply RiCOCKulous”… we all know the real action is in the N.I.T.!

– Kennedy Wong  a.k.a. The Blasian

The Top 10 Reasons You SHOULD Watch NASCAR This Season!

10) Because I Can’t – For some strange reason, NASCAR is not a big hit out in South Korea?!?! Yet, I do see Korean’s with the odd (and old) Tony Stewart Home Depot Jacket on. But for the most part they remain clueless about the glory that is the Greatest Sport that goes in a circle for 3 hours!  And this makes me sad for the Korean people because Lord knows that if someone would have told me b4 I moved out here that I wouldn’t be able to watch my fav NASCAR Drivers every weekend like I did in the States, I probably would have stayed home. (Not really but sounds good) And besides screaming WHOOOOOOOOOOOO for no reason just isn’t the same here!

9) D.S.P. : DANICA SUE PATRICK – No, it’s not because she could be the 1^st female driver to make it to the top flight of stock car racing in decades b/c to me Kasey Kahne (you’ll remember him from the All-State Insurance Commericals) has always been a girl!  And no it’s not because I think she’ll actually be a good NASCAR Driver.  B/c she won’t (She only won 1 race in all here Indy Car Races)…but I do think she is definitely more suited for NASCAR than Indy. She’s got a short fuse personality just like the rest of the guys and will fit in nicely with the boys! I personally can’t wait till she Brittney Griner’s one of the other drivers for crashing her out! (Yep, I’m all giddy just thinking about right now!)

8 ) “Dear Lord Baby Jesus” – “Dear Tiny Jesus, with your golden  fleece diapers and your tiny little fat balled up fist”..I mean “Dear 8lb. 6oz. newborn Infant Jesus, Don’t even know a word yet but still Omnipotent” how could you not be a fan of a sport that gives you “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby”! A movie that provided such culturally moving and poignant lines like: “Hakuna Matata Bitches”; “Always remember, if you ain’t first, you’re last”; “I’m going to be all over you like a spider monkey” ; “Shake – And BAKE” and “I’m the best there is, plain and simple, I mean I wake up every morning and I piss excellence”.  Now let’s all say it together…..THANK YOU NASCAR!

Dear Sweet Lil Lord Baby Jesus!!

7) NASCAR Fans – Easily the most passionate fan base to be a part of …and besides this picture says it all!  How could you not want to hang out with this guy?!?!

Now This is PASSION!!

6) More Cheating than Baseball Players – “If you aint Cheating you aint trying!”  Any sport that lives by that motto is good to me! You think steroids and baseball is considered cheating, think of the possibilities with a highly complex piece of machinery like a NASCAR.  I mean besides, don’t you want your athletes to care enuff about their fans to at least try to do something dirty so you can support the winning guy??….IF not then I guess you’re not a REAL sports fan!!

5) Can you do doughnuts in a car at your place of employment? – Didn’t Think So!!!

Don't you wish you could do this at work!!

4) The Wrecks – Hockey has fights…and people love that…Well, NASCAR has wrecks! Yea, pulling some ones shirt over there head and punching them might be fun to look at for like 5 seconds….But that Awesome 13 Car Pile up that happened at 200mph (and in less than 5 seconds), well you can easily watch that on repeat for like 5 mins!!  So Case Closed NASCAR WINS!!

3) So Jimmie Johnson Doesn’t Win AGAIN – Just like how Tennis has Serena and R.Fed winning everything, so does NASCAR.  His name is Jimmie Johnson (4 peat Champion of NASCAR…to put his recent domination into perspective. Jordan only one 3 NBA championships in a row) and compared to the other drivers he has a pretty tame personality (and a hot wife, so I can’t really hate him like one might hate a Tom Brady) but dammit let somebody else win for a change!!

Plz Jimmie...Enough is Enough!!

2) “Drama” – As much as men might protest, we do however enjoy a good amount of drama in our lives.  The difference between us and the fairer sex is that for guys this drama doesn’t come in the form of an episode of Grey’s Anatomy and Desperate Housewives but in the form of touchdowns, T.K.O’s, goals, and home runs. And as much as we might hate them, the performances of guys like Chad Ochocinco, Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Muhammad Ali are Daytime Emmy worthy in our eyes.

With that said,  no other sport brings you as more unadulterated MAN drama as NASCAR! Drivers routinely get fined for degrading each other in the Media, cheat as much as possible without getting caught, drive fast cars, wreck competitors on purpose, get into fist fights on the track, hold vendettas, run over opposing crew members from time to time and still make millions of dollars and have hot wives…God Bless AMERICA!!

Take the following quotes from other drivers about Kyle Busch, one of the most talented and hated drivers in NASCAR:

“He’s the only driver I know who can go three-wide all by himself…He’s hoppin’ around down there like a little league shortstop.” – Darrell Waltrip

“I jerked him by the helmet and just rattled his cage a little. He’s just a little girl about it.” – Steven Wallace

“Hopefully the fans will enjoy it. They get to boo me in three different areas this weekend, and we’ll have a good time.” – Kyle Busch

“You hear that? People are cheering…………for Kyle Busch.” – Kyle Petty

So the first time NASCAR was on TV, the race ended like this...AWESOME!!

1) The Tailgating Experience – Any sport that was started by bootleggers in the south who just wanted to see whose car was the fastest car when outrunning the cops, should definitely be attended by the type of people you’d want to party with!

My first NASCAR experience went like this (and I was dragged there by a buddy, by the way) 1) Find a Tailgate spot and set up 2) 20 mins later: We started drinking beer and grilling 3) 15 Mins later:  some random woman from Kentucky is sitting in my lap and screaming “WHOOOO” at the top of her lungz…4) 10 mins after that: some guys from South Carolina are giving us more beer and food and talking about going to the strip club after the race with us…5) 15 mins later: some old guy from Florida comes over and gives us mixed drinks they just made out of the back of his RV all while we are bumping Biggie Smallz out of my buddies truck 6) Right b4 going into the race:  some young kid from Virginia comes over and asks us to sell him some weed (b/c apparently all black people sell it)  And all this is before we even got into the race and continued to drink and eat and share our Wal-Mart Cake with the 30 people in our section!

Add to that the fact that you get to do it all over again after the race b/c traffic is so thick and its easily been the BEST sporting experience of my LIFE!!

Plus, nobody cared that we were a lil different from the normal NASCAR fan (i.e. Black) they just wanted to have a good time and scream WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!…So yea,  NASCAR brings people together and if that’s not the best reason to follow it this season then I don’t know what is!

NASCAR Bringing Folks Together!!

So to anyone hating on NASCAR, I say pack up, grab some friends  and just go 1 time and I promise you that you will soon be hooked!!

– Kennedy Wong aka The Blasian

“Simply RiCOCKulous” (Mar 1 – 8, 2010)

In the words of the immortal Eric B. & Rakim “It’s been a long time, and I shouldn’t have left you, without a dope blog by the Blasian to step to!” or something to that effect..(Let’s not quibble over the particulars). Here in the land of 김치 (Kim Chi) things have been pretty busy…I had about 2 weeks vacay, visited a homie out in 대구(Daegu), my computer broke down on me, was introduced to my new favorite Korean food 찜닭 (Chim Dalk; only to find out there are no restaurants by me that sell it) and moved apts.  So as you can see, I’ve had a pretty busy couple of weeks…but still that’s no excuse.  So without further adieu let’s get into this week’s…..“Simply RiCOCKulous”!! 

1) Those of you who know the Blasian personally, know that I can be called a lot of things… i.e; Loveable, Sarcastic, All-Powerful, Handsome, Awe –inspiring, A Modern-Day Adonis, and most importantly HUMBLE….but Fashionista is definitely NOT one of them.  However, this latest assault on my eyes makes me want to audition for the next season of Project Runway, just so I can have some credentials behind my name when I slap the people responsible for these New Orleans Hornets Jersey’s. 

The WORST JERSEY's EVER!!

 

Congrats, we have a winner in the UGLIEST Sports Jersey’s EVER, contest!   I am 100% positive, that if you sat The Joker and Liberace in a room together with a mountain of PCP, then told them to create a basketball jersey…. that this is what they would have come up with!  I mean I know it’s Mardi Gras and the folks in “Ouisiana” just won the Super Bowl, but COME ON!! This is just hurtful and mean!!….Needless to say those are NBA Players not employees at Popeye’s Chicken (no offense, b/c I like Popeye’s chicken) and should not be dressed like Clowns. 

Why So Serious Kennedy?!...I LOVE THOSE UNI's!

 

Just  think of what you guys will say when you wake up from your month-long party hangover and turn on the tube to see your beloved Chris Paul and the Hornets in those jersey’s! I know, I know a pretty sobering thought indeed! But the real victim here is Mr. Chris Paul.  Not only does he have to basically play by himself night in and night out, but now he’s forced to dress like a disciple of Barney the Dinosaur?!?!…Have some heart and compassion, New Orleans.  Not just for poor lil Chris Paul but also for my retina’s…..PLEASE BURN these Jersey’s right away.. 

We Love Them Too!!!

 

I mean you guys were already so embarrassed that you put NOLA on the jersey and not New Orleans or the Hornets, b/c some people might actually get confused by the abbreviation and not be able to pin it back on you guys…So to whatever individuals created and then made an NBA team wear these affronts to professionalism I say….. “Simply RiCOCKulous” 

 

2) Canadian Exuberance!…Before I start let me 1^st say that I LOVE CANADA!…well more specifically just Toronto!  In a perfect world,  during the summer months of my retirement from working I want to live in Toronto. It’s absolutely one of my favorite cities in the World.  It’s got the diversity that makes America great, the bustle of a Major Global City and yet still maintains some of the serenity of a close-knit community. However, the Rest of Canada can pretty much disappear and I’d be pretty cool with it. I didn’t always feel this way until just recently.  And yea, I know Congrats are in order for winning on the most Gold Medals for this year’s Winter Olympics! But this whole we WON the Olympics and are the BEST COUNTRY EVER now, thing really needs to calm down! 

You see, after Americans, the 2^nd most represented nation of foreigners here in Korea is Canadians! (Which has lowered their national population from 500 – 400 people)  and boy have they been OBNOXIOUS!  So let’s take a deeper look into Oh Canada’s Olympic Performance.  The Leaf State, (hey we all know it’s a matter of time b4 annexation) Canada had 14 Gold Medals and 26 Total.  A great feat indeed but come on, Curling???..Not really a sport so we’ll take that down to 13 Gold’s and 24 (they won the silver in Curling  too) total. 

On the other hand….The U.S. set an Olympic Record this year, nope, not for having the most inappropriate post victory pictures.  but for winning the MOST MEDALS EVER  (37; which by the way is 11 more than your total including the non-sport of Curling) in WINTER OLYMPICS HISTORY!! But you don’t hear us sounding like we just got Carte Blanche to invade another country!!  (at least I don’t think so) 

That’s because the US doesn’t really care about the Winter Olympics that much….I mean I personally watched about 30 mins total of the Olympics and that all came in the form of highlights on my comp or Korean TV, which shows Kim Yu Na, every 5 seconds..(Even as you read this she’s in some obscure Korean TV commercial…yes, now!). 

Yep, here she is AGAIN!!

 

And we only watched the Hockey Final b/c it would have been historic to say we beat you guys in the game that’s on your money.    So to all you Canadian’s who won’t shut up about it…Here’s a little reminder…Canada as a nation is still…“Simply RiCOCKulous”! 

 

3) In case you haven’t noticed, there is no Football being played right now…and if you are just like me the PS3 football game is just not like watching the real thing.  However, the wonderful thing about the NFL is that even though there is an off-season, the League is never really on vacation. Right now the combine is going strong and Free-Agency is about to pop off.  Which brings us to sad, sad news that is the release of Mr. LaDainian Tomlinson from the Whale’s Vagina Chargers!! In the back of my mind I know that all professional sports are simply a  business but the LT has done more for Chargers organization than any other RB in the team’s HISTORY!  Don’t believe me take some time out and check out his stats.    So, where’s the loyalty?!?!  And you even made the man cry at his press conference. 

Due to this the Blasian and the rest of the Reverse Oreo Family will def be wishing, Mr. Tomlinson  good luck (and most likely your partner in crime Darren Sproles too) on your new address.  But take solace in this Mr. Tomlinson, The CHARGERS run attack will SUCK next year…May the Football Gods shine favor on you!!   And to the Business Nature of the Game I say.…“Simply RiCOCKulous”! 

  

It aint right to make LT cry!!

 

Honorable Mention: 

I finally saw the LeBron James and Gang movie, “More Than A Game” and came away very impressed. A definite recommend to anyone who loves LeBron James, Akron Ohio, Sports or Basketball Movies in general.  It hits on a lot of subjects like  father-son relationships, overcoming your environment and the pitfalls of fame at a young age.  So if you haven’t seen the movie yet go see it and this …  “Simply RiCOCKulous” is for you!
 

  

– Kennedy Wong  a.k.a. The BLASIAN

Inter Milan v Chelsea – The Enemy Of My Enemy Is Also My Enemy

Yesterday, one of The Blasian’s (remember him?) favorite teams, Inter Milan took on Chelsea at Giuseppe Meazza in the Champions League Round of 16 clash.  Inter won 2-1 and look good, not great, going into the return match in three weeks time.  Before I go into the actual game let me tell you about these two teams.

Last week my favorite team, AC Milan took on a team I really, really like, Manchester United.  Inter and Chelsea are the opposite of that.  They both make my Top 5 most hated soccer/football/futbol/calcio teams.  Both teams are probably tied for third on that list.  Let’s take a quick look at what that list look likes:

Top 5 Most Hated Soccer Teams
1.  Juventus (Italy)
2.  Manchester City (England)
T3. Inter Milan (Italy)
T3. Chelsea (England)
5.  Roma (Italy)

Even though Inter and Chelsea are on this list I have to admit that I do like some of the players on these teams whereas I hate everything about Juventus and Man City.  Juventus and Man City have no redeeming qualities and there is not one player, coach or member of management I like on either of those teams.

Sure Inter has won a few scudettos lately they but they haven’t won the Champion’s League/European Cup in my lifetime and this makes me very happy.  The Blaisian (who dat?) can say whatever he wants about Inter but you can have all the league championships you want but you’re nothing until you win in Europe.  Plus, don’t think winning one puts you in the same sentence as AC Milan.  Same goes for you Chelsea.  Try to win in Europe before you think you’re on par with Manchester United, Liverpool and Arsenal.

I’m sad that AC Milan or Manchester United will be out after the Round of 16 but at the same time seeing Inter or Chelsea out makes it a little better.  The one thing that scares me is that Inter or Chelsea will go through to the final and beat AC Milan or Manchester United. That would be my ultimate nightmare.  Although, if it were reversed and AC Milan or Manchester United beat one of those two teams it would make winning the title even sweeter.  AC Milan has one quite a few Champions League/European Cup titles but the one I savor and remember the most is when we beat Juventus in the 2003 final in Manchester.  It was like winning two titles at once.  The Blasian (where are you?) would be unbearable if Inter won the Champions League.

The game:

To be honest, this game wasn’t that exciting.  I thought Chelsea worked hard and deserved better.  I wonder what the referee was thinking on the play where Kalou got taken down right in front of the goal?  Eto’o was disappointing.  Ivanovic (Chelsea) and Sneijder (Inter) had great games for their respective teams.  Maybe the game played too much like a chess match because both coaches knew the other team as well as anyone.  Chelsea better hope that Cech is able to play in the return because Hilario looks terrible.  The guy looked frightened when he came in to the game and can’t execute a goal kick to save his life.

Inter will go into Stamford Bridge with a slight advantage.  That away goal by Chelsea is big.  Chelsea can go through with a 1-0 win but if Inter scores then Chelsea will need to win by two.  Even though I hate both teams, I would love to see Inter crash out first.  Not just because The Blasian (I think he still writes for this blog) likes them but because they are and always will be second class citizens in Milan.

I don’t know if I should say this but I don’t like Mario Balotelli.  Please Blasian (come back soon), don’t rip me because he’s your guy.  It has nothing to do about his skin color.  I have no idea why the Italian fans have a problem with his ethnicity because on the field he’s all Italian.  What does that mean?  He’s such a whiner and goes down in a heap with minimal contact.  How has he not played for Italy yet?  He’d fit right in.

Italy, don't boo Super Mario because he's black, boo him because he dives and whines

Now that all of the games in the first leg are complete, lets take a quick look at the other games and what might happen in the return.

AC Milan – Manchester United (2-3), Manchester go home looking real good.  Three away goals are huge and I have trouble believing that Milan can score two, let alone win by two.  Then again, if Ferguson decides to play Neville on the right then Milan could probably do whatever they want (see Everton).

Bayern Munich – Fiorentina (2-1), Bayern got the benefit of a non-call from the referee and the linesman.  Klose was offsides not once, but twice on the play.  Sure, Fiorentina got an away goal but I think Bayern will find a way to get this done.  Don’t forget that Bayern went to Torino and beat Juventus 4-1 to knock them out of the tournament.

Lyon – Real Madrid (1-0), Lyon shocked Madrid but an ever healthier Ronaldo should make the difference at the Bernabeu.  I can’t muster up any excitement for Lyon because Jean-Alain Boumsong is one of their defenders.  Rangers, Newcastle and Juventus fans know what I’m talking about.

CSKA Moscow – Sevilla (1-1), a good showing by Sevilla in frigid Moscow puts them in the driver’s seat going back to Sanchez Pizjuan.

Stuttgart – Barcelona (1-1), the defending champs were frustrated by the German side and the return should be interesting.  Don’t put Barcelona in the next round quite yet but playing at the Camp Nou should help.

Porto – Arsenal (2-1), Arsenal looked terrible in this one.  Who knew that Almunia, as bad as he can be, is the best Arsenal can do in goal?  That being said, Arsenal rights the ship and advances at the Emirates.

Olympiakos – Bordeaux (0-1), the French leaders look good going back home.  Bordeaux have lost only once at home this season in Ligue 1

Picks from THE BLASIAN: The only picks that matter!! (2010 SUPER FREAKIN BOWL)

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA BABY!! It’s the big game, and I’m very excited about it!  Unfortunately, I live in Korea and probably won’t see it because Super Bowl Sunday Fun Day for you guys in the good ole U.S. is Monday NO-FUN DAY here in the ROK!!  Korea, for those of you who don’t know is about 14 hrs ahead of Eastern Standard Time, this means that when you are relaxing and watching the game with your buffalo wings, pizza, beer and friends I’ll be at WORK!….b/c it’s a normal Monday Morning in the ROK and the only three guys who care about the Super Bowl in Korea are writing this blog (ok, that might be a little bit of an exaggeration, but it certainly feels that way).

I mean if there was EVER an Annual Sporting Day that should be INTERNATIONALLY RECOGNIZED as a holiday it should be the SUPER BOWL!! (Don’t get mad World Cup Fans, I said ANNUAL!) So while you are at home screaming at the tube (b/c for some reason we think Manning will ACTUALLY hear us)… don’t forget us, the guys here at the Reverse Oreo and pour a little buffalo sauce out for your Homies in Korea!!

Please wipe the slob from your screen, when you are done!

And just between me and you, I have decided this week to pull the ole, call in sick deal! So for those others who might want to join in….might I present to you the:

“TOP 3 KOREAN, CALL IN SICK AND GET OFF TO WATCH THE SUPERBOWL EXCUSES”:

#3. Cough, Cough, I think I have the Swine Flu?!? (not higher on the list b/c this one might cause your town to get evacuated)

#2. Ohh, I have explosive diahreha. (b/c this is really an epidemic in Korea…..might be b/c of all the spicy food, but shhh….keep that part a secret)

#1. I think I slept in front of a fan last night and now I might die, so I need to take the day off! (Ohh what’s that?!? Never heard of FAN DEATH!? Well that’s b/c you are not in Korea!)

Loosely Translated: Sleep Near the Fan...and you DIE!!

Also I would like to point out for those keeping score at home, that THE BLASIAN went 2 for 2 with my last picks and I’ m an impressive 5-5 for all the playoff games. Now some people here at the Reverse Oreo will tell they went perfect last week too because they beat the spread…but to those people I say GARBAGE b/c picking the actual WINNER is the only thing that really counts. So with no further adieu:

Indianapolis Colts vs. New Orleans Saints

Remember the Bloody Sock controversy awhile back in baseball when the Yanks were playing the Red Sox! I was sooooooo tired of hearing about Curt Schilling and his bloody sock. I mean by the end of the series, people were saying they say the image of the Virgin Mary in the Blood on his sock!  SERIOUSLY?!?! And until this Super Bowl, I think that was the most I have EVER heard about an ankle in my life. Well CONGRATULATIONS are in order for Mr. Dwight Freeney and his ankle, for utterly destroying Curt Schilling and his nasty sock in terms of Media Coverage. I mean I don’t think anybody’s Ankle has gotten this much coverage since the Iliad!

Sorry Curt, Your Ankle is now #2!

Too bad in the big scheme it doesn’t really matter though, as I have said before the Aints are the team of destiny this year and will win! Payton will be awesome and is the better quarterback (although not by much), but Mr. Freeney and his ankle won’t be there to help slow-down D.Breezy! And that will affect the Colt’s D which also won’t be 100%.  So,  I expect the D.Beezy to have even more of a field day than usual! Also remember that Payton tends to have trouble with really good Safeties and D.Sharper is one of the best of all time!  I give the Offensive Edge to the Colts but not by much and only b/c of Payton and the Defensive Advantage goes to the Aints. So this one will be tight and down to the wire..but in the end make way for your

2010 SUPERBOWL CHAMPIONS..(WHO DAT?!?!)…THE NEW ORLEANS SAINTS!

Pick: Saints: INDY 42 – N.O. 43

Bet You Never Thought This Would Happen Either!!

– Kennedy Wong a.k.a. The BLASIAN

Not quite “RiCOCKulous”

Since there is no “Simply RiCOCKulous” article for this week, I decided to hit you with something a we can all relate to…b/c we all have gotten these emails at work!  You know what emails I’m talking about!  The one from that really close “Personal Friend” (You know the one that you grew up with and gave your kidney to last year and the same one that would never do anything to harm you in any way) b/c you can always trust them!!……Yea, that buddy…so  you open the email at work and all of a sudden, a picture or short video of 2 COMPLETELY NAKED  Women (or Men) playing twister while covered in chocolate pops up on your screen!…(See now you know what I’m talking about) And sometimes if you are lucky like me, it is at that exact moment that your boss decides to walk by and pay you a visit.  Well THIS poor fellow has it much worse b/c his email was opened on live TV on a major financial network….Poor Bastard! But still quite funny!

Another future casualty of the Economic Downturn! Or simply stupid!

Anyway this is primarily a Sports Blog so let me go ahead and say a couple words on something sports related…..

1) Arsenal of the EPL is NOT who we thought they were! That’s right the Gunners lost AGAIN to another big team this week!  Actually getting crushed 3-1 at home by Manchester United!  Yet, the Young Gunz can take some solace in the fact that they have had an impressive season so far given that most thought, they would finish out of the top 4 given their age and inexperience!  However quite to contrary, b/c as recently as last week the ARSENAL was at the top of the EPL standings (if only be it for a couple days). But if they really want to make it to the next level they are going to have to at least win at home against the Man Utd’s and Chelsea’s of the World!

"THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE"

2)  Apparently Being ranked #1 in College Basketball is an Automatic Loss Manufacturer this season!  Since the cupcake portion of the season ended (around Jan 4th),  All 3 teams that have been ranked #1 coming into the week (Kansas, Texas and Kentucky) have promptly lost after being bestowed with such Honor.  And due to this, I’m not sure if I feel that anybody is a clear cut favorite to win it all this year. Here’s hoping the next #1 ranked team can at least keep the rating for a week!

3) And am I the only 1 that thinks Tennis is getting totally boring?  Serena and Federer won again at the Aussie Open!!  Where’s the new blood??? Who is suppose to be challenging these guys?  Murray and Roddick are definitely not living up to the hype and  Nadal still really can’t beat Federer either!  At least Serena takes brakes from dominating her opponents to make clothes, jewelry and music videos or whatever!  But you can’t deny that when she’s focused nobody can beat her, (including her sister)!  I mean I’m all for Great Champions and all but would love to at least see some more promising competition for these two!

This is all too Common! (Pun intended!!)

– Kennedy Wong aka The BLASIAN

“Simply RiCOCKulous” (Jan 24 – 30, 2010)

Unlike last week there is a nice amount of stuff to gab about this week because as always people are stupid and the things they do are …..“Simply RiCOCKulous”!!

1) I’ve made a horrible self realization this week! The realization that I might be 1 of the only REAL NBA Fans left! Now let me clarify what I mean by REAL NBA Fans!  REAL NBA Fans don’t just watch during the playoffs or the holidays. They watch (or try to at least) from the beginning until the end of the season.  REAL NBA Fans don’t just pull for Kobe, LeBron (“THE” Bron in French), D. Wade, or whatever hot young star has the coolest commercial out at the moment. They pull for a TEAM and generally their fave player is the best player on that team! But most importantly, REAL NBA Fans recognize the REAL GOOD NBA PLAYERS regardless of whether they are on the team you like or not. Until this point that recognition of REAL NBA PLAYERS always culminated with the NBA All-Star game! However, this year the FAKE NBA Fans have ruined that!

To illustrate my point I’ll give you 3 guard choices. Player A averages 22.6pts, 7.2 assists, 1.3 steals, 3.6 TO’s and shoots 41.1%. Player B averages 19.4pts, 5.9 assists, 0.8 steals, 2.7 TO’s and shoots 47.1%. Player C averages 14.3pts, 4.2 assists, 0.6 steals, 2.3 TO’s and shoots 44.1%.  Based on the info above, which 2 players would you pick first to be All-Stars?  People with brains would say A 1^st and then B.

So tell me how in the HELL does C get selected as an All-Star and the other 2 do not! Player A is Gunman Arenas, and he’s suspended, so I’ll give you a pass when it comes to him not being an All-Star! Player B is Derrick Rose who also has not been voted in and Player C is Allen Iverson who miraculously is an All-Star Starter.

That’s right Allen “I played for the Grizzlies is now a trivia answer” Iverson has made the 2010 NBA All-Star team. My disclaimer here is that I was a HUGE A.I.  fan b4 the season started! I stuck with him through the “We Talking Bout Practice?!?” rant and the “Nobody Likes Me” rant in Detroit. And in my opinion he is one of the most talented players EVER to lace’em up in the league!  However, quite simply put, he doesn’t deserve to be an All-Star this year! Not only have Derrick Rose and Buckshot Arenas had better years but to so has Joe Johnson, Rajon Rando, Brandon Jennings..etc, etc.   So what happened you ask, well A.I. is still immensely popular and was voted in off fan love alone.   I’m mean I’m all for fan love but when something this stupid occurs the D. Stern should be granted like Emergency  Executive Powers and allowed to tell Allen Iverson to re-inact his Grizzlies career and leave before the games start!  For us REAL NBA Fans this is a travesty and probably wasn’t even this bad when Yao Ming was voted in over Shaq in Yao’s  rookie year because  it seamed like EVERYONE in China voted for him!  So to all you FAKE NBA FANS who have no respect for the game…I can only describe you and your 2010 All-Star Version of Allen Iverson as “Simply RiCOCKulous”

Yea, how you got on the team has me beating my head too!!

2) This “Simply RiCOCKulous” is for myself, yea that’s right! I’m giving myself one! Why?? Because at I was all excited when I found out Serena Williams was apparently going bottomless at tennis tournament (take a look here if you don’t believe me)!

The Moon on Venus

Only to be crushed when I  found out that not only was she not bottomless (just flesh colored shorts), but that is was Venus and not Serena! So for biased towards one talented Williams Sister over the other (but can you really blame me Serena was in ESPN’s the Mag’s Body issue and Venus wasn’t), I say to myself… “Simply RiCOCKulous”!

3) If I was going to think of a place in the USA where White People would have to make a stand so they could get an equal shot at something and not be discriminated against (the concept of which still blows my mind!), Augusta Georgia, (home of the Annual Good Ole Boy Invitational Golf Tournament aka the Masters) would be the LAST PLACE on Earth I think that would happen!  However, Augusta Georgia’s newest event in a long line of segregated efforts is (drum roll please) a WHITES ONLY Basketball League! Or as I will call it from now on the NJBA (the Non Jumping Basketball Association).  Now I know just like myself you are wondering what in the Hell?? But League Owner and Creator, Don “Moose” Lewis, (couldn’t make that name up if I tried) says “White  American-born citizens are in the minority now. So now, here’s a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like.” Yep and even the President of the U.S. couldn’t qualify to participate because “only players that are natural-born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league.” Fantastic job Moose!  Way to NOT,  make a big deal out of athletics and racial stereotypes … “Simply RiCOCKulous”!

So does J.Will (White Chocolate) Count?

And honorable mention for this week:

This one is non-sports related! But because Love is a Game to some I’ve decided to link THIS “Simply RiCOCKulous” story here for you to enjoy! The morals are 1) Billboards are evil and 2) Treat your significant other, or the one you are cheating on them with right or  your pics  might end up near your local highway!

– Kennedy Wong a.k.a. The BLASIAN