March: Contenders and Pretenders

Too Bad, It's Over!

Now that the Olympics are over it is time for me to officially start my commentary on the NCAA basketball season. In our group it has been discussed that there is not a clear cut group of number ones and even more so, number twos. Based on the rankings right now (which seeding is not based on), Ohio State would get a 2 seed with 7 losses, that’s right seven, and West Virginia would get the final one with 6 losses. Really? There’s something for The Blasian to write about right there.  Ohio State lost to North Carolina, Minnesota, and Michigan (plus their quality losses). Wow they deserve to be in the top 10 like I need to be treated for anorexia.

This season does not make sense, pre-season we had Kansas at one (ok they are still around there) and Texas and Michigan State at two depending on the poll. Texas fell apart! 17-0 and since? 6-7.

Michigan State  at 22-7 also lost to North Carolina to add to their 16-14 record, apparently they had two quality wins out of their 16. I will take them over the Buckeyes in the rematch.  But that’s the Big 10.

Pac 10? Are you out there? There is a chance that everyone in the conference could have double digit losses. A stretch maybe, but still a possibility. I guess Cal gets in, but it depends on who wins the PAC 10 Tournament, they might only get two teams in.  Is this really the conference that has: Stanford, UCLA, Arizona, and USC?

Count on him down the Stretch!

SEC basketball is back, kind of, not really, but they have Kentucky and Tennessee. Do not count on Kentucky when it matters though, I mean they have Calipari, the worse close game coach around. He called a timeout the other day giving the opposing team a chance for a shot to tie or win. Afterwards, Calipari said “It’s the dumbest Timeout, I have ever called!” (True) but what about timeouts you haven’t called  JOHN?!? He’s bad on both sides of the decision making.

Now I am not going to fill out a bracket and post it on Reverse Oreo. Come on, some secretary is going to fill out a bracket based on colors and mascots and get 75% correct.  So I am going to take my likely final four, before the bracket is out and after its out.

Pre-Bracket Final Four

Kentucky – out in the final four because of Calipari

Syracuse- They have been pretty consistent

Kansas- They have two big games to wrap up the season before the Big 12 tourney (KSU and @ Mizzou).

Michigan State- They are mature and the held Purdue to 44 pts over the weekend

All I care to remember from the KBL

Korean Basketball:  We have talked about how terrible KBL guard play and wondered out loud why they haven’t brought over a foreign player to run the show. This is further confused by the history of the league that once banned foreigners over the height of 6’8″, which has since been abolished. Yet they have never shown an interest in guards from outside Korea. Still a foreign concept here, and I am left more confused after watching the daily games.

I leave you with this video, enjoy

Salute

The Bearded Guy

Olympics: How to Make Things Awkward!

As most of our readers know, we are English teachers in Korea. Now I am in a similar boat as The Mark, I do not really care who wins these Olympic games or who participates in them. Sure if its on I will be watching, but I do not know the schedule, the athletes or many of the story lines besides what Tony and Michael talk about during the Morning PTI, 5:30 PM Eastern/7:30 Am KST. 

I believe the correct term is Photo terrorism.

According to them, PETA is not thrilled with Johnny Weir,  I could have gone without seeing his costumes. But If I had to witness them so you do! Anyways beyond that and the talks of Lindsey Vonn’s calf, I did not know whats happening with the American teams and individuals in Vancouver. 

That all changed yesterday as my administrator turned on the Korean broadcast of the Olympics. During what happen to be one of their main events, Speed Skating.  Now I have seen Koreans practicing speed skating….I have never seen any one in the United States speed skate. So I thought, ‘cool’, we are head to head, they can celebrate their victory of over America and it will all be a great day.’ 

Things started out great, we were in second with about 6 runs left, my administrator turned to me and fist pumped after one of the runs….Let them celebrate its Speed Skating… a crowd of the teachers started to gather around the computer and take in the event. This was going to be their Gold! 

Enter Shani Davis of Chicago,  and the second to last heat, six of us watching: four teachers, one administrator, and the foreigner (me),  mix in a language barrier and you are primed. Mo Tae-Bum had already set the standard with a time of 1:09.12.  As the race started they got closer to the screen trying to will on their skater to beat Davis, to have a collective fist pump in my direction. But coming around the second turn it was evident, that this guy was not their savior, Davis took over and started putting some distance between them, but things were still alright with the Koreans due to Mo Tae-Bum’s performance. 

Vh1 Best Month Ever Candidate: February-Shani Davis

Yet as Davis kept moving faster and things started to look pretty grim for South Korea and me. I started getting glances, looks of disappointment. Davis crossed and he was the new leader, 1:08.94, the Americans ran on to the ice and were congratulating him, and the Korean station showed it all. Let me say this my co-workers were not mad at me….just disappointed, kind of like “how could you have done this to us, Bearded Guy. How could you win this one?” 

How does one respond to that? 

I can’t say “I didn’t know we even had a team.” Although that would be mostly true, I do not want to hurt their feelings more, by saying “I did not even care about the event.” All I could do was sheepishly shrug. Avoiding their further embarrassment, they quickly dispersed but the damage had been done, at least to their psyche. 

Sorry Korea,  we are better at most sports, some that we do not even know about, than you! Beyond that apparently we have more in speed skating than Apolo Anton Ohno, who is also the arch-enemy of South Korea. I think they hate soul patches! 

Apparently this is the worse way to win in Korea: having to Stand next to Ohno

Note:  How does the US women hockey team beat Russia 13-0? Isn’t hockey their thing? Could I compare it to United States losing in football internationally? Thoughts? 

1000m Long Track Champion represent 

The Bearded Guy 

We will remember you fondly JS.

This post is slightly delayed. I was given a surprise week of vacation at school as my Winter camp was over and I was what they call “Desk sitting.” I don’t think students ever go to school in Korea. Anyways I was away from my computer, but I am back to talk about the anti-climatic ending of Jersey Shore and the weekend in sports, although it is technically still going on.

First off, how terrible was the ending of the shore?

It almost killed the series. There was no drama, no fighting, and a lot of Snookie looking for a date that was not to be found, which was the main emphasis.  Of course this was not a new theme for Snookie, even some of her homely hook-ups* from the past month were not vibing going on a real date with her on her final night at the Jersey Shore. It was pretty embarrassing, to see her throw her self at everyone including The Situation and come up empty. Which prompted her to respond in the reunion, about how she had on beer goggles some of the time and regretted her decisions.  Really? Seems like they did as well!

The highlight of the finale was the reunion! In which Ronnie “…cuts girls like barbers,” over some never before seen footage.  The show was filled with more awkward moments as the cast is stuck in limbo between fading to obscurity, while still being at the peak of what their lives will become.  Would you really hire any of these guys, besides at a screen printing shop on a boardwalk? The answer is yes, only Ronnie though, and only as a cage fighter in an untested MMA league. MTV needs to release a 2 hour long dvd of the fights of Jersey Shore with interview commentary, it would be a cash cow! Tell me you wouldn’t buy it or at least download the torrent.

Sadly I bid farewell to the show as it probably will not be returning for a second season, “Thats one punch kid” to pop culture.

In an interesting week, Kentucky held the number one spot for roughly a day before falling to Devan Downey. Obama must have really jinxed them, as he called in them to congratulate them on becoming number one. I appreciate Prez. Although, as I said before, I am not worried about Kentucky too much, as soon their season will be stricken from the record books, they will fall under 2000 wins and North Carolina and Kansas will beat them to the milestone. Got to love Calipari.

Because there is never anything to do on a lazy Saturday

On a side note, I have to say ‘Com on’ to K-State fans and their Sport Information Department. The Octagon of Doom is ridiculous. Of course,  ESPN had to run with it cause their is nothing else to talk about in the area, the stadium lacks character and history, so hopefully the fact that it has 8 sides will carry College Gameday had to be their thought process. Granted, the fans were loud, especially a certain male clarinet player, but when you have lost on your home floor to Kansas 25 of 26 times, who is the team that is suffering from being in the octagon of doom?

The Bearded Guy: What is K-State!

Trebek:  Correct, now moving on to your NFL lines…..

About my picks, technically I won both games last week. Picking against the spread, the Colts covered thanks to a nice second half, and so did the turnover ridden Vikings who seemed to have the ball the whole game but continued to give it to the Saints.  Still they covered the 3.5 for which I am thankful.

Great Season All-Day

In reality, I picked the Vikings to flat out win. So I was really 1 and 1. It might be time for some one in the media to call out Adrian Peterson. He has gotten a ‘pass’ long enough, two lost fumbles one at the five yard line to score right before half.  Why does not anyone talk about the clutch-ness of Running backs?

Super Bowl pick is still the same I will take the Colts.

Korean Sports:

Dudes Volleyball last night and….no cares.

Handball highlights, This ones for Brian!

This might be the only time anyone has said this,  FEAR CROTIA!

Korean Pop Culture:

The long awaited sequel is here! Attack the Gas Station 2. Spoiler alert: Dumb criminals get bored and rob the gas station again. Impersonating workers they pump peoples gas and keep the money! Apparently based on real events! Don’t miss it!

*Snookie technically only made out with the guys, nothing more. Not her choice!

Salute

The Bearded Guy

They might be hereos…?

No one will ever call me a hero for my game picks!  For the second week in a row, I went 1-3.  I declared that we had to take the over (57) in the Saints and Cardinals game,  it ended at 59.  So I was in a funk because of this miserable performance again, and couldn’t bring myself to post. 

On the upside, Texas suffered a KU situation, battling at home against A &M, basically playing like garbage but pulling out the win in overtime (see KU vs. Cornell).  Then followed the survival with a road loss to a rank opponent who is probably overrated. K-State will still be K-State, they will be eliminated in the second round of the tournament. (While Tennessee was playing with great emotion after the loss, see hotbox-gate)  So now the only unbeaten left is Kentucky, but in all reality its only a matter of time until they are winless, just ask the 2007-2008 Memphis tigers or the Marcus Camby UMass 95-96 team, they have are a Calipari NCAA Sanction waiting to happen. Someone may want to check John Wall’s SAT/ACT scores.  Another question worth pondering if the 2007-2008 Memphis Tigers and the 1995-1996 UMass Minutemen (the good kind) went defeated how did Calipari win the Naismith  College (96 and 08) and the Conference USA  (2008) and A-10 (96) coach of the year awards? He must be the only coach in the history of the game to have a completely defeated team TWICE and win coach of the year with said defeated team!  Someone should discuss that….That being said, he still hasn’t won a national championship.  Speaking of Shady….. 

Article to check out: The Dirtiest Player, GQ 2-2010 

Don't mess with his Carwash

The wheels have come off for the quietformer Colts Receiver Marvin Harrison. Apparently he is not a nice guy.  Everyone used to love him, he did his job, he was quite, the anti-T.O. Then all of a sudden he is kicking a dude in the streets in Philly and trying to shoot him while the guy is in a car.  Some role model, as a society maybe we should back-off the idea of the idea of humility on the football field makes for a great person.  Something worth noting: His sports bar is aptly named Playmakers, obviously he loved the  canceled ESPN show when the players are going crazy beyond the football field so much that he named his sports bar after his beloved canceled show. 

At least he has finally earned a nickname: Marv the Menace!  Look for him to release a hip-hop album very soon. 

What to watch: Final episode of the Jersey Shore. 

Don't make him use his strength

I am already in mourning.  I can’t wait for the final episode followed by the reunion, a reunion I will watch any time I feel like the dumbest person alive.  Ronnie has turned out to be controlled by Sammi unless you follow him on the boardwalk and then some sort of hulk character emerges and he kills anyone on the 2X4s who makes any comments about him.  Ronnie hasn’t mentioned what he does outside of this month on the shore, but can you imagine his employer seeing him drop the dude with a running one punch!!!  Someone needs to put up a photo of that dude crumpled on the ground and Ronnie jumping up and down!  Ronnie possess that strength that certain people have that aren’t that smart!  Speaking of physical violence, J-woww may be a man!  This would explain the terrible boob job and extreme strength.  When this show started who knew almost everyone would get hit in the face!  The Mark is going to hit this up more in depth so I will stop for now… 

Korean Sports Update: 

It's a celebration bitches

Some men’s and women’s volleyball teams competed, half won and half lost, and no one was entertained by their beauty, besides the one female Puerto Rican  player. 

Handball maintains an untapped market that the United States could dominate.  A slow-paced game, that all you have to do is attack a goal by throwing the ball! Really  Come on now, US let’s get some intramural teams together and a get ready for 2012. 

He would have score 50 a game!

KBL missed out on the Stephon Marbury “Sweepstakes”.  He signed in the Chinese league for some low amount of currency so he can sell The Starburys in China.  China welcome blisters and broken down shoes! 

Problematic song of the Month: Miley Cyrus- Party in the USA (Chopped and Screwed).  Thanks Draper! 

Ok Cheers! 

The Bearded Guy

Woeful Weekend

1) So I came forward last week and basically called the Cowboys an easy out against the Eagles. I am here to apologize to the Cowboys.  I took you for the Cowboys of the past few years, the collapsing at the end of the season ‘boys who get hyped by the media and then fall apart with a sub story developing. Despite McNabb looking loose before the game, it was apparent from the beginning, loose didn’t mean ready.  The real player was Vick, who didn’t want the season to end so badly that he delivered one of the longest touchdown passes of his career. He must really not want to attend PETA rallies.  Beyond that, the Patriots era is no more, unable to stop the Ravens rush attack to save their lives; at home no less. Cincinnati failed to redeem Chris Henry, also at home, and how hard is it to hit a field goal? Everyone having a son now a days should get them kicking, there are definitely kicking positions available. The only pick I got right happened in the anti-defense game of 2010. Making it look a lot like the Cardinals of last year. They will need Boldin to continue on, but still a tough out.

2) The BCS game fell apart when the uninjured McCoy went down in the first series of the game. Once that happened, everyone watching considered switching over to catch the new Jersey Shore or started complaining their wasn’t a new Office. It had to be one of the biggest disappointments to happen that early in a championship game.  Even when Ted Ginn went down a few years back after the opening kickoff return (see terrible celebrations), Ohio State still had the Heisman trophy defaulter* in Troy Smith.  So they had other options. But McCoy goes down and in comes Gilbert, not smoking gun agent zero, but a red-shirt freshman who had thrown 26 passes this season in mop-up time, and with little running game it looked like it could be over just like that. But Gilbert did his part, sure he had a couple of turnovers, but his receivers did not pick him up either, the shovel pass, an extremely costly turnover should not be on him and the line did not seem to give him quite the time necessary. Obviously McCoy is the better QB, but Texas still could have won this game if the supporting players stepped up.

3) Unbeatens fall:  KU and Purdue. Both on the road and of little consequence at this point in the season. But a Kansas team that had been skating by turned the ball over 16 times and shot 38 percent finally doomed the former No. 1. Despite Tennessee being ranked 15th. Bruce Pearl recently dismissed star guard Tyler Smith and three other players remain on suspension. As a KU homer, I think it needed to happen especially after the close call to Cornell. Kansas clearly didn’t show up to play in back-to-back games and if they were able to get another win out of that mentality it could have cost them down the road. Self should refocus his squad especially recent turnover machines like Markieff Morris and Tyshawn Taylor.

So No 3 Penis Wine this week! Hopefully we can get some picks right next weekend. To come my picks in the KHBL, Korean Handball League, straight lock picks.

Salute

The Bearded Guy

Guard Play Not Welcome In The KBL

If you’re a point guard who can dribble, who can sort of see the floor and who can stop at the three-point line and pass the ball without ever getting a look at the basket, then the Korean Basketball League is the place for you.  If, on the other hand, you can dribble, command the floor, dribble penetrate and get multiple looks at the basket, then please go elsewhere.  Guard play if frowned upon in South Korea.  They don’t need you pretending to be the most important player on the team, scoring 30 and dishing 20.  Let the big guys and the three-point specialists handle the scoring.  All you’re supposed to do in Korea is take the ball over mid-court and dish the ball of to someone bigger than you as soon as possible. 

A guard with any kind of game would have a field day in Korea.  Stephon Marbury, as crazy as he is, would score a minimum of 60 points a night here in the KBL.  There’s not a lot of defense on the guards here.  They only worry about the bigger forwards and the centers here.  That’s why a guy like Samaki Walker, who should be killing the other team for at least 30 a night, isn’t dominating like he should.  As soon as he gets the ball, there are two or three guys on him in a second but the guard has nothing to do but watch. 

Let’s say that John Wall, instead of walking out on Memphis and instead of going to Kentucky, decides to go overseas to play for a year before going pro.  Let’s also say that he doesn’t go to Europe but for some reason decides to ply his trade in South Korea for the SK Knights.  This is what his box score would look like:

John Wall – 70 points, 25 assists, 15 steals

That would be every single night.  Plus, Samaki Walker would also have 30 points and all SK games would end something like 130-70.  Guaranteed!

I don’t know who’s in charge of the KBL but someone needs to tell the coaches to let the guards do their thing.  Maybe a foreign coach is needed to show them how to handle guard play.  Kelvin Sampson, instead of being an assistant for the Milwaukee Bucks, could do well here.  He wouldn’t have to worry about those pesky NCAA recruiting rules.  C’mon KBL, give me some guard play.  I’ll watch more, I promise.