Archive for the ‘NASCAR’ Category

10) Because I Can’t – For some strange reason, NASCAR is not a big hit out in South Korea?!?! Yet, I do see Korean’s with the odd (and old) Tony Stewart Home Depot Jacket on. But for the most part they remain clueless about the glory that is the Greatest Sport that goes in a circle for 3 hours!  And this makes me sad for the Korean people because Lord knows that if someone would have told me b4 I moved out here that I wouldn’t be able to watch my fav NASCAR Drivers every weekend like I did in the States, I probably would have stayed home. (Not really but sounds good) And besides screaming WHOOOOOOOOOOOO for no reason just isn’t the same here!

9) D.S.P. : DANICA SUE PATRICK – No, it’s not because she could be the 1st female driver to make it to the top flight of stock car racing in decades b/c to me Kasey Kahne (youll remember him from the All-State Insurance Commericals) has always been a girl!  And no it’s not because I think she’ll actually be a good NASCAR Driver.  B/c she won’t (She only won 1 race in all here Indy Car Races)…but I do think she is definitely more suited for NASCAR than Indy. She’s got a short fuse personality just like the rest of the guys and will fit in nicely with the boys! I personally can’t wait till she Brittney Griner’s one of the other drivers for crashing her out! (Yep, Im all giddy just thinking about right now!)

8 ) Dear Lord Baby JesusDear Tiny Jesus, with your golden  fleece diapers and your tiny little fat balled up fist..I mean Dear 8lb. 6oz. newborn Infant Jesus, Dont even know a word yet but still Omnipotent how could you not be a fan of a sport that gives you Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby! A movie that provided such culturally moving and poignant lines like: Hakuna Matata Bitches;Always remember, if you ain’t first, you’re last; Im going to be all over you like a spider monkey ; Shake And BAKE and I’m the best there is, plain and simple, I mean I wake up every morning and I piss excellence”.  Now let’s all say it together…..THANK YOU NASCAR!

Dear Sweet Lil Lord Baby Jesus!!

7) NASCAR Fans – Easily the most passionate fan base to be a part of …and besides this picture says it all!  How could you not want to hang out with this guy?!?!

Now This is PASSION!!

6) More Cheating than Baseball Players – “If you aint Cheating you aint trying!”  Any sport that lives by that motto is good to me! You think steroids and baseball is considered cheating, think of the possibilities with a highly complex piece of machinery like a NASCAR.  I mean besides, don’t you want your athletes to care enuff about their fans to at least try to do something dirty so you can support the winning guy??….IF not then I guess you’re not a REAL sports fan!!

5) Can you do doughnuts in a car at your place of employment? – Didn’t Think So!!!

Don't you wish you could do this at work!!

4) The Wrecks Hockey has fights…and people love that…Well, NASCAR has wrecks! Yea, pulling some ones shirt over there head and punching them might be fun to look at for like 5 seconds….But that Awesome 13 Car Pile up that happened at 200mph (and in less than 5 seconds), well you can easily watch that on repeat for like 5 mins!!  So Case Closed NASCAR WINS!!

3) So Jimmie Johnson Doesn’t Win AGAIN – Just like how Tennis has Serena and R.Fed winning everything, so does NASCAR.  His name is Jimmie Johnson (4 peat Champion of NASCARto put his recent domination into perspective. Jordan only one 3 NBA championships in a row) and compared to the other drivers he has a pretty tame personality (and a hot wife, so I can’t really hate him like one might hate a Tom Brady) but dammit let somebody else win for a change!!

Plz Jimmie...Enough is Enough!!

2) Drama – As much as men might protest, we do however enjoy a good amount of drama in our lives.  The difference between us and the fairer sex is that for guys this drama doesn’t come in the form of an episode of Grey’s Anatomy and Desperate Housewives but in the form of touchdowns, T.K.O’s, goals, and home runs. And as much as we might hate them, the performances of guys like Chad Ochocinco, Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Muhammad Ali are Daytime Emmy worthy in our eyes.

With that said,  no other sport brings you as more unadulterated MAN drama as NASCAR! Drivers routinely get fined for degrading each other in the Media, cheat as much as possible without getting caught, drive fast cars, wreck competitors on purpose, get into fist fights on the track, hold vendettas, run over opposing crew members from time to time and still make millions of dollars and have hot wives…God Bless AMERICA!!

Take the following quotes from other drivers about Kyle Busch, one of the most talented and hated drivers in NASCAR:

“He’s the only driver I know who can go three-wide all by himself…He’s hoppin’ around down there like a little league shortstop.” – Darrell Waltrip

“I jerked him by the helmet and just rattled his cage a little. He’s just a little girl about it.” – Steven Wallace

“Hopefully the fans will enjoy it. They get to boo me in three different areas this weekend, and we’ll have a good time.” Kyle Busch

“You hear that? People are cheering…………for Kyle Busch.” Kyle Petty

So the first time NASCAR was on TV, the race ended like this...AWESOME!!

1) The Tailgating Experience – Any sport that was started by bootleggers in the south who just wanted to see whose car was the fastest car when outrunning the cops, should definitely be attended by the type of people you’d want to party with!

My first NASCAR experience went like this (and I was dragged there by a buddy, by the way) 1) Find a Tailgate spot and set up 2) 20 mins later: We started drinking beer and grilling 3) 15 Mins later:  some random woman from Kentucky is sitting in my lap and screaming “WHOOOO” at the top of her lungz…4) 10 mins after that: some guys from South Carolina are giving us more beer and food and talking about going to the strip club after the race with us…5) 15 mins later: some old guy from Florida comes over and gives us mixed drinks they just made out of the back of his RV all while we are bumping Biggie Smallz out of my buddies truck 6) Right b4 going into the race:  some young kid from Virginia comes over and asks us to sell him some weed (b/c apparently all black people sell it)  And all this is before we even got into the race and continued to drink and eat and share our Wal-Mart Cake with the 30 people in our section!

Add to that the fact that you get to do it all over again after the race b/c traffic is so thick and its easily been the BEST sporting experience of my LIFE!!

Plus, nobody cared that we were a lil different from the normal NASCAR fan (i.e. Black) they just wanted to have a good time and scream WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!…So yea,  NASCAR brings people together and if that’s not the best reason to follow it this season then I don’t know what is!

NASCAR Bringing Folks Together!!

So to anyone hating on NASCAR, I say pack up, grab some friends  and just go 1 time and I promise you that you will soon be hooked!!

– Kennedy Wong aka The Blasian

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