Posts Tagged ‘Mark Sanchez’

I know, I’ve been a terrible prognosticator but I’m not giving up.  I’ve gambled for far too long to step away just because I’ve been a Mush for a few weeks.  Things will turn around.  If not, who cares, I’ll be in Hong Kong for a week so I could give a shit. 

Before I get to my picks I have to talk about the coverage of these games.  I won’t see any of these games and I don’t get ESPN of the NFL Network but I can just imagine what the talking heads are….well….talking about.  I’m pretty sure the coverage has revolved and will revolve around Brett Favre and Mark Sanchez.  Don’t let The Blasian fool you, he definitely has much man-love for the guy.  As Shakespeare once wrote, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”  Replace, “The lady” with, “The Blasian”. 

The Bard knew how The Blasian felt for The Sanchise

Back to the coverage.  Most people probably don’t know that Drew Brees and Peyton Manning are playing in these games because Brett Favre and Mark Sanchez are hogging all the coverage.  Has John Madden come out of retirement yet?  How is he not doing the Vikings – Saints game?  If you think it’s bad this week, imagine if the Jets and Vikings both win on Sunday.  Then we will have two weeks of non-stop Favre, Sanchez talk.  If the Vikings win, they might as well change the name from Super Bowl XLIV to Super Bowl Favre.  I can’t see any of the coverage and I’m already annoyed.

On to the games:

NY Jets @ Indianapolis (-7)

Pick:  Colts     

Blah blah blah….the Colts offense is awesome.  Blah blah blah……The Sanchise is a rookie.  Blah blah blah….Rex Ryan is fat.  Blah blah blah….there’s no way the Jets win this one.

Indianapolis 23-10

Minnesota @ New Orleans (-3.5)

Pick:  Vikings

Blah blah blah…both teams play in a dome.  Blah blah blah….Sean Payton forgot how to coach the last time he was in the Championship game.  Blah blah blah…….Adrian Peterson.  Blah blah blah……Sidney Rice.  Blah blah blah….BRETT FUCKING  FAVRE.

Minnesota 31-27

Sound the horn Vikings fans.  That sound you hear is Packer fan killing himself.  Enjoy Super Bowl Favre.

The Blasian likey?

Now who says, the BLASIAN doesn’t deliver?!?! As I promised last week, I did better with my pics! That’s right I went from a horrible 1-3 to an ASTOUNDING 2-2!  Yep, go ahead and call Ms. Cleo and the Psychic Friends Hotline, cuz I can certainly give her a run for her money! 

The Great and All Knowing Miss Cleo!

And hey maybe this week I’ll even go 3-1 (unfortunately there are only 2 games left)! I actually started out 2 for 2 last weekend and if it wasn’t for the JETS and the GREATEST NFL Choke Artist of All Time, Tony Romo, I might have had a chance at perfection…but no hard feelings and with that being said its time for my venom filled picks for this week (heres looking at you Mark Girly Sanchez)! 

 

NFC GAME: 

Minnesota Vikings vs. New Orleans Saints 

So apparently the Vikes D covered all their bases last week b/c word on the street is that they read my blog and made sure to fly Jessica Simpson out to the game in Minny. I mean how else do you explain Romo’s performance and the beating (maybe beating is too kind of  a word) the Cowgirls took last week? The bad news for the Vikes this week though is that Drew Breezy won’t be having any of the same type of problems! D. Breezy has been immaculate this year and I don’t see any choke any is game! I look for Breezy and homies, mainly Colston and Meachem (my Tennessee buddy) to wreck shop.  And don’t expect a repeat great performance from Mr. Kardashian next week either, b/c  that was an anomaly of a game for Reggie! In the words of Jay-Z “He’s alright but he’s not REAL (-ly that good)”! But I will tell you who is real… the Aints O-Line is fantastic and only let D.Breezy get smothered by an overgrown man on the opposing team  20x this year.  Add that to helping their run by committee offense, gain over 2,000 yards this year and they have  definitely done a great job so I expect J. Allen and the rest of the Vike’s D to have a tough day at the office. 

But never fear, my Horned Hat Friends b/c all is not lost!  You do have the Magical, Mystical Brett Favre at the helm and All-Day Peterson literally running over people.  This will more than give the Vikes a fighting chance. However, your  X-factor, Percy Harvin must find a way to come out and compete well despite his injuries if the Vikes are to pull this one out! 

The BLASIAN  expects this one to be close (yes! I just referred to myself in the 3rd person)! So based on giving the offensive advantage to the Aints (primarily due to the deeper receiving core and better all-around running game) although I give the slight defensive advantage to the Vikes (and yes I know Darren Sharper is a BEAST) I’m going to have to roll with the Aint’s in this one, b/c  just like I said last week I that the Aints are the team of DESTINY this year! And I know this makes you guys at home  sad that we won’t be able to hear another rendition Brett’s American Idol song “Pants on the Ground”

Pick: Saints: NO 30 – MIN 24 

 

AFC GAME: 

New York JETS vs. Indianapolis Colts 

WARNING: If you are a JETS or Mark Sanchez fan, ESPECIALLY if you are Mark Sanchez fan stop reading now!  

FUCKING MARK “GIRLY” SANCHEZ!! Let me quickly run down the list of people that I dislike 3) My 1st Grade Teacher, Mr. Bobbins (still scarred from you making the class point & laugh at me after I had that “accident” during, Go to the Pool Day ), 2) Mark Sanchez and 1) Satan . You see that Martina (I mean Mark) Sanchez!! The only person I hate more than you is the DEVIL, and congrats for being POISED ENOUGH to be more hated than the man that caused me to be nicknamed “Do-Do Pool Boy” in 1st Grade.  That’s right Martina, you have embarrassed me for two straight weeks now. Every time I pick against you guys, you have the AUDACITY to win the damn game!! And let’s be serious, teams with QB’s who pose for pictures like this should NEVER win Playoff GAMES! 

Everyone knows you don't wear white after Labor Day, Mark!

I mean I don’t know about you but I don’t want a guy who wears white pants that are not part of his football jersey to lead my team anywhere! And to make matters worse JETS fans have been so annoying about their recent resurgence, Even here in Korea, I have heard the loud “J-E-T-S, JETs, JETS” cheer (and no its not because North Korea is attacking!).  Then add THIS to the mix, where an innocent child has been scarred for life by JETS Fans and its just been too much for poor lil me to handle. 

I mean,  I don’t think you guys grasp the importance of putting Martina Sanchez out of the playoffs.  Here we have a QB that models, plays for an East Coast Team, and in their 1st year as a starter is  basically just riding a good coach and defense, to what that team hopes is a Super Bowl victory. You know who else did that? That’s right Tom “Freakin” Brady! Now, you understand?!?  That’s right if  we don’t stop Martina Sanchez before its too late, she could become the next Tom Brady.  And let’s be real, nobody wants to deal with another Tom Brady! 

P.S. Ohh yea the game…I’m going with the Colts!  Payton Manning, blah, blah, blah, Payton Manning!! 

Pick: Colts: INDY 42 – JETS 12 

– Kennedy Wong a.k.a. The BLASIAN

Round two of the NFL Playoffs have come and gone and a couple things are clear.  First, I can’t pick games to save my life right now.  Second, Tony Romo is not ready to take the next step and I’m not sure if he’ll ever be.  Third, Philip Rivers is a pretty good quarterback but he’s only good enough to get you there but not good enough to win it. 

Thanks Indy for keeping me from losing all four games on the weekend.  The Bearded One and I both agreed the over/under for the Arizona – New Orleans was too low at 57 but boy were we wrong.  The game ended at 59.  Man, those guys are good.  I don’t know how many times I’ve questioned the lines but somehow they always come through. 

Forget about what I (and The Blasian) said about the Cowboys doing an impression of the 2008 Giants.  The Giant had a REAL quarterback, a quarterback that didn’t fold when the team needed him most.  If Eli Manning had folded in the Super Bowl, we’d still be talking about the undefeated Patriots.  And, I’d never have to see or hear about the 1972 Dolphins again. 

I’m sorry Cowboy fans but you’ll never win anything with Romo.  In past years Terrell Owens was the problem but where does the blame lie now?  It should fall squarely on the shoulders of the quarterback.  How do you follow-up the solid game against the Eagles in the Wild Card game by stinking up the joint against the Vikings.  Romo’s quarterback rating was 66.1 while grandpa Favre’s rating was 134.4.  Face it Dallas fans, it wasn’t Terrell Owens, it wasn’t Jessica Simpson, it was Tony Romo.  He’s hit the ceiling already.  There’s no next level for him.  He can have a million dollar smile but right now I’d take ten other quarterbacks in a big game, including The Sanchise because he’s found a way to get things done.  All you Romo fans, call me when he wins something.   

Philip Rivers, you broke my heart.  I’ve been on your bandwagon since you got drafted out of NC State.  I hated the way Eli Manning pouted on draft day so I immediately became a Rivers fan.  I told my friends to watch out for Rivers because he would win more than Eli.  It didn’t happen and it will never happen.  Not only would I, and Charger fans, want Eli Manning now but I would also take an older Drew Brees.  Remember him San Diego fans?  He had to go to make room for Philip and now Brees makes it rain every Sunday.  Rivers can throw for thousands and thousands of yards a year but, until he wins the big one, I could give a shit. 

Has Norv Turner been fired yet?

Can we write an obituary on LaDainian Tomlinson’s career?  I don’t think anyone is scared of him anymore. 

Is The Sanchise for real?  Sure, he doesn’t have great numbers but he’s finding ways to get it done and that’s what matters.

Does Kurt Warner know where he is yet?  He got jacked-up big-time.  Looks like SoCal Matt will be the Cardinals quarterback next year. 

Can someone with a Dallas uniform please cover Sidney Rice?

Friday Night Lights

Everyone knows that the television show is based on the book by H.G. Bissinger about the Permian Panthers in Odessa, Texas during their 1988 season, The Mark’s senior year. In the book, Boobie goes out in a preseason scrimmage game and is done for the season and the team eventually overcomes this obstacle only to be eliminated in the Semi-Finals of the State Playoffs by Dallas Carter. Its a very emotional book, as it discusses these real people growing up in West Texas, where the cliché Football  is life seems to be true.  In 2004,  the book became a hit sports movie of the same name, Friday Night Lights, and for the most part they didn’t Hollywood it too much, instead the Panthers made it to the state championship and Boobie Miles sticks around the team, but overall they are able to capture what really was happening.

Along comes the series of the same name, Friday Night Lights, which is a fictional story based on the idea of football being the driving force of a town, and how it affects everyone in the town, even if they do not like football, see Julie Taylor. The show is fantastic and often has little football elements, which keeps the show fresh and not looking like Playmakers or Varsity Blues, with crazy hits on every play. Often the players or the head coach, Eric Taylor, are going through some major off the field problems.  But it has become apparent that they are borrowing strongly from the history of Quarterbacks at the University of Texas. As of the end of season 3, season 4 is airing on Direct TV 101, Eric is out at the main powerhouse high school based on the moves the new powerful booster Joe McCoy, over the playing time of his son J.D. McCoy. This occurs after Coach Taylor brings back his QB, Matt Saracen, that he had benched earlier in the season for McCoy.  Saracen plays well, but the team falls short.  After I saw this I thought immediately of the Texas quarterback situation of Major Applewhite/ Chris Simms, in which Major Applewhite had accomplished a ton with the program only to be benched based on the hype of the new comer, Chris Simms, who has a powerful father in Phil Simms, football announcer and former Giant great, Chris Simms struggled and was booed by Texas fans for a lackluster showing in the Big 12 title game, they wanted Applewhite, after a injury they got their chance and Applewhite almost brought them all the way back.  The following game, Applewhite’s last as a Texas QB, he led the Longhorns to an improbable come back victory in the Holiday Bowl to go out on top…..So the writers changed the story slightly but Saracen is still Applewhite, and McCoy is Simms, and without spoiling season 4 for anyone, as most people don’t have Direct Tv, but Coach Taylor has a new quarterback who has an arm and is very fast and is starting at a young age. Can anyone say we have a new Vince Young, I cant wait for his senior year when they are the huge underdog and beat the “USC” high school. Anyways everyone should check out the show!

Moving on to reality

I’m not going to apologize, because I was the one who lost money if you made bets based solely on my predictions you don’t have a mind of your own.  That being said I have a much better feeling about this week, We don’t have three rematches from the week before with a bunch of people resting, so let me start.

Arizona @ New Orleans

Line: New Orleans -7

As a friend of mine would say, “New Orleans is really banged up, we are really hurt in the secondary.” That being stated I want to point to the over/under at 57, come on only 57? Shouldn’t it be around 100? These offenses are ridiculous when they get hot, and I wouldn’t expect anything but fire on Saturday. This same friend also said he had a feeling that New Orleans would lose in their first game, well I guess I will have to agree. I take Arizona to cover the seven. I think Boldin will play giving Warner another target, especially across the middle. I would seriously be dumbfounded if less than 57 points were scored, I mean didn’t Arizona put up 51 on the league’s statistically best defense last week?

Alright: Arizona

Baltimore @ Indianapolis

Line: Indianapolis -6.5

The Colts have been on rest for about a month now it seems, so they should be healthy, but will they be in game mode/shape? I think so. Baltimore’s game plan is not going to be much different from last week, GIVE THE BALL TO RAY, they will try to control the clock and give Peyton Manning as little time with the ball as possible.  I feel Indianapolis can stack the box better than New England did last week, which should add up to a few 3-and-outs. Giving Peyton to attack a defense that might be a little worn down. I don’t think it will matter that Oher is protecting Flacco’s  Blindside, after last weeks performance. I think its a great matchup to watch and the Colts will kick a field goal to finish it putting them up 10 with 3 minutes left.

Moving on: Colts

Dallas @ Minnesota

Line: Minnesota -3

So earlier this week I apologized to Dallas. I apologize so much I pick them to win in Minnesota. Why you ask? Not because of the game against Philly. But the way Minnesota played down the stretch, and mainly losing to Chicago, and the lack of committal to making Adrian Peterson the man. Dallas will win this game, based on Childress calling terrible offensive game and Dallas defense showing up again. Will Favre retire again?

Six shooter in Minnesota: Dallas

New York Jets @ San Diego

Line: San Diego -7

Oddly enough the Sanchise will return to the West Coast with a playoff win under his belt.  But this is where it ends, the young buck and the Jets will not leave San Diego with a victory or a loss by less than 8. Why? San Diego is going to be two-dimensional. Bring back the ground game, expect a big play out of one of the two RBs, my bet is on Sproles.  It’s an easy draw getting Cincinnati in the first round, but the Chargers are the hottest team right now and the front-runner to make it to the Super Bowl. A loss here and you can say goodbye to Norv Turner and to the chances of the Chargers winning one for a long time!

Get Electric

On aside on football, Big Fan is excellent. Check it out if you like football, Patton Oswalt, or know someone who lives with their mom and calls into SportsTalk

Last week didn’t go so well.  1-3 against the number, with Dallas being the only thing I got right, so the man would have been very happy with me.  What went wrong?  Seems The Sanchise was enough, considering Ochocinco decided not to show up for the game.  That thing I said about Ben Watson?  Yeah, that didn’t happen.  Yes, Aaron Rodgers had a monster game but his fumble cost the Packers the game.  Thanks Aaron, maybe you are just like Brett Favre after all.  He did throw that interception against the Giants in the NFC Championship game that led to an end of the Packers 2007 season. 

On to the games:

Baltimore @ Indianapolis (-6.5)

Pick:  Colts

This number is funny.  I thought it would be higher but then I noticed that the Colts have the 24th ranked rushing defense.  They gave up 126.5 yards per game during the regular season.  Remember how bad their rushing defense was during their Super Bowl year?  Somehow they turned it up in the playoffs and were stopping people.  I don’t know how much they can stop Ray Rice.  No matter, too much Manning and Wayne with a little Dallas Clark and the Colts win and cover.

Arizona @ New Orleans (-7)

Pick:  Cardinals

First team to 40 wins this one.  Or is it 50?  Boldin looks like he might play in this game but how healthy is he if they haven’t made the decision yet?  This will probably be the most exciting game of the playoffs.  I think New Orleans wins but Arizona covers.  Hopefully Sean Payton doesn’t forget how to coach in the playoffs like he did against the Bears in the 2007. 

Dallas @ Minnesota (-3)

Pick:  Cowboys

For some reason I like the Dallas to win this game straight up.  I AGREE with The Blasian about the Cowboys doing and their 2008 New York Giants impression.  Favre will get hit in this game and he won’t like that.  Look for some crazy throws and jump balls.  Romo keeps on moving to erase the memory of him not winning the big games, or games past November 30th.

New York Jets @ San Diego (-7.5)

Pick:  Chargers

The Sanchise goes back to SoCal but San Diego isn’t Washington State so the homecoming might not be so sweet.  If Philip Rivers can’t get it done, he’s dead to me.  I’ve defended him against the Eli Manning critics since he came in the league but he keeps disappointing me.  I know I’m in the ROK but I didn’t hear much about LaDanian Tomlinson this year.  Did I miss something?  It should be The Antonio Gates Show and that’ll do it for the Chargers.   

Who is Pete Axthelm you ask?  Remember, I’m old.  Pete Axthelm was on the NFL on NBC and ESPN Primetime in the late 80’s and early 90’s.  He’s the reason I gamble.  He knew everything about betting on football and horse racing.  “The Ax” was awesome.

(2010 NFL Playoffs Week 2 “Let’s try this again”)

First off before I get into my actual picks this week, let me start by apologizing to my mom, my pastor and everybody else who has called me and is embarrassed by my picks from last week.  I know, I know 1-3 aint going to cut it! That’s why I’m GUARANTEEING that I will do better this week (and if I don’t, too damn bad!).  So now that, that is over, let’s get right into my picks for this week!

NFC GAMES:

Minnesota Vikings vs. Dallas Cowboys

“OLD MAN RIVER, JUST KEEPS ON ROLLING ALONG”…I think that should be the theme song for this current reincarnation of the Minnesota Vikings. I’ll be the first one to admit that during the beginning of the season I thought Brett “I’ve been playing since your dad was a twinkle in your Grandma’s eye” Favre, was done and just couldn’t shake the need to be in the spotlight. Boy did he prove me wrong! Behind Lazarus Favre, All-Day Peterson (the 2nd Best RB in the League), and Jarred Allen the Vikings have been pretty darn good. On the other hand, sometimes all it takes is getting over the initial hump and then the rest is pie! And this might be just the situation for the Cowboys, coming off their 1st playoff victory with the Rominator at the helm and the 1st since 2004 (I bet the Eagles wish they had flown Jessica Simpson to the game) . Also, it doesn’t hurt that the Boys are doing a great NY Giants of 2008 impression (an ok season and getting insanely hot right before the playoffs) and challenging the Bolts as the hottest team in the L. So for me this comes down to 2 simple things. 1st: Dallas’ WR’s are better than MIN’s…this means the DB’s for the Vikes are going to have hell all day and 2nd: the Cowboy’s Defense is better! They are not a one horse unit like the Vikings. Demarcus Ware has a lot of other talented guys around him so I’m going to give the edge to the Boys on this one…”How BOUT DEM COWBOYS?!”

Pick: Cowboys: DAL 25 – MIN 21

New Orleans Saints vs. Arizona Cardinals

The only pick that I got right all last week faces the Saints…Now, just on general principle it is hard for me to pick any team in the NFC South that does not have a bird for a logo! And believe you and me it’s even harder to pick against Early Doucet’s  impressive gun collection and our fave Civil War Vet and QB leader of the local bible study, the Rev’d General Stonewall Warner, who I am sure is going to be giving it all he’s got. However, and it’s weird for me to say this… but I feel like the Aints are the team of destiny this year…and although, I’m not an Aints fan I do pull for the city of N.O. (only for the facts that they gave us jazz and Lil Wayne is from there!) So despite the great cookies that Mrs. Warner baked during last Thursday’s prayer meeting, I’m still going to have to go with the Aints in this one.

Pick: Saints: NO 42 – AZ 38

AFC GAMES:

Baltimore Ravens vs. Indianapolis Colts

Joe Flacco might just be the luckiest man in the WORLD! I mean you get to be a starting NFL QB, only throw 10 passes, connect on a WHOPPING 4 of them and still win a playoff game?!?!…Either that or you are lucky to play for the Ravens and that aging D-fence that is still one of the best in the L! Plus, when did Ray Rice decide to change his name to Jamal Lewis? …But wait, Joe’s luck doesn’t stop there, he gets the HONOR of not having to pay for his front row seat this weekend! That’s right!, He gets to watch a REAL QB, and one of the best to ever do it this weekend for free! Yep, the CHOSEN ONE, Payton Manning will be kind enough to demonstrate to Joe how to pick apart those very same brain teasing D-fensive schemes he sees EVERY DAY in practice, and in less time than it takes Joe to tie his shoes! I guess, Rod Stewart said it best..”Some guys have all the luck!”….Colts win this one, easily!

P.S. thanks Randy Moss for not providing any supporting evidence last weekend of my opinion of you as the most talented and best receiver EVER to play the game! I appreciate that!

Pick: Colts: INDY 36 – BAL 21

 

 

New York JETS vs. San Diego Chargers

DAM YOU MARK SANCHEZ!! By winning last week in such convincing fashion and robbing me of getting to watch the marketing machine known as Chad Ochocinco for at least 1 more week you have made this personal (Insert Your Own Four Letter Tirade Here)! From here on out I am ANTI- Mark Sanchez in EVERYTHING! So I’m picking the Bolts to win…well not just b/c I hate the Sanchize but also b/c Philip Rivers is the most underrated QB in the league who like a Stone Cold Steve Austin circa’ 1999, “JUST WHIPS YOUR ASS” (that reference is for you The Mark). Also add that the Whale’s Vagina team is arguably the hottest team going into the playoffs (having won 11 straight) and healthy!!…The Chargers will take this one, so get used to Sean Merriman doing his epilepsy dance, b/c you’re going to have to watch it for at least 1 more week.

Pick: Chargers: SD 29 – NY 22

– The BLASIAN

The Bengals just got shown the door in the playoffs by Mark Sanchez and the New York Jets.  That’s, rookie quarterback Mark Sanchez and the Jets, who just snuck into the playoffs.  And, this game was in Cincinnati.  While this was happening where was Ochocinco?  Other than making two catches for twenty-eight yards what was he doing?  Can we stop talking about him as one of the elite receivers in the league?  At this point, if I had to choose a big game receiver, I would probably choose ten other receivers over him.  Please don’t tell me about double coverage and shit like that.  Great receivers make things happen.  He doesn’t have to catch twelve passes for one hundred fifty yards but where’s the game breaker?  I’ll take the Chad Johnson who, up until a few years ago, could catch anything and get open.  Sure, Ochocinco is a marketing genius but he’s no longer that receiver I think about to make the difference in a game.  Ochocinco, you can twitter and ustream all you want and I will be interested but when Sunday afternoons roll around I will be thinking of Andre Johnson, Brandon Marshall and Reggie Wayne.