Archive for the ‘Korea’ Category

One Reason to Watch

So before I get started, I have to give a little background. I had been really enjoying the country pride that Korea has and some exciting upsets, so my opinion of this whole soccer thing were beginning to change.  Before this year I wasn’t a soccer fan, but the World Cup obviously has another aspect that makes you watch -similar to speed skating in the Winter Olympics – you wouldn’t watch it any other time, but now when it’s the best in the world you go with it. There have still been so major flaws….

5) Anti-Climatic endings: fans do not seem to amp it up as it gets closer to half or the end of the game. Often the athletes seem inclined to accept the results at the three-minute mark, sometimes when it even means the difference between winning and tie.

4)… Speaking of ties. Why are they so satisfied to let games end this way? At least put on 15 to 20 minutes and see who can endure from there,  sudden death. Each team would probably have a possession or more, so sudden death should work. It works in hockey.

3) Unlike hockey though, there is a huge amount of faking or injuries, falls, etc. Especially, but not limited to, the European teams. This is not the players fault, FIFA has allowed this practice to become an effective method of gaining an advantage, its time for FIFA to pull in the reigns and force players to have some dignity on the field.

2) The lack of the worlds best athletes. If you tell me Kaka is…. you are highly confused. Just imagine how much damage someone like LeBron could do on the soccer field.

1) Explanation of calls on the field or off. I shouldn’t have to write this, really I shouldn’t. In what is the biggest global athletic event, in a globally televised game an official can make a call on the field without having to say who the foul is against is absurd. The official does not even have to write up a report on the game listing his calls. Other sports organization have offered explanations and sometimes even apologies for missed calls. Several at the highest levels use instant replay. I am not demanding instant replay, I am just pointing out the lack of accountability.  I can not speak of an agenda of an official, but it is possible, and without FIFA requiring explanations and justifications of calls, an official could fix the biggest tournament in the world. I want to see a Deadspin article with Donaghy breaking down the calls of the World Cup, instead of him telling me about the missed traveling violations in the final. Weird Tim, the NBA has not consistently called that in years, but I digress.

Anyways, none of these things are ground breaking.   They really would not change the game of soccer as seen on the field, the only one not easily solved is the athlete thing but I guess I can survive that, but it would make it a better game.  What do you think?

Wasn’t really feeling sports this week.  My White Sox still suck, Lance Armstrong was accused of doping (again), Hanley Ramirez has been doggin’ it on the field, I think something is happening in hockey and the inevitable Lakers – Celtics NBA Finals is gonna happen.  I don’t really give a shit, right now.

Something did pique my interest this week.  I’ve been in Korea for about nine months now and I’ve gotten used to the way things are around here.  I’m no Korean culture expert but I think I know what’s up.  But, I read something this week that made me question something about this place, something that every Korean loves and has to have.  I thought I knew quite a bit on this subject but then someone came along and blew my mind and I’ve had to rethink what I (thought I) knew.

Luckily, common sense prevailed and I realized I was right all along.  I like it when that happens.

The point here:

Never take what people think they know at face value.

Always do your research.

It’s ok to laugh at people who pretend to know it all.

Inside jokes are fun.

Thanks for indulging me.  Here’s a little something for your enjoyment.

Kimchi Recipe

Napa cabbage – approximately one pound
4 cups of cold water
3 tablespoons of sea salt
1 tablespoon of fresh garlic, finely chopped
1 tablespoon of fresh ginger, finely chopped
1 tablespoon of fresh green onions (scallions), finely chopped
1 teaspoon of dried red chili pepper flakes (more if you like things spicy, less if you don’t)
1 1/2 to 2 teaspoons of sugar

Directions:

Separate and wash cabbage leaves. Sprinkle 2 tablespoons of sea or kosher salt evenly on cabbage leaves. Place salted cabbage leaves in a large bowl, add 4 cups of cold water, cover with plastic wrap, and place in refrigerator overnight. Be sure that water covers all cabbage leaves – place a plate or other heavy object on top of leaves to ensure that they stay covered with water.

The next day, pour off water and thoroughly rinse cabbage leaves. You can shake them gently in the sink to remove excess moisture.

Place cabbage leaves back into large bowl and add garlic, green onion or scallions, ginger, dried red chili flakes, sugar, and 1 tablespoon of salt. Use your hands to rub seasoning evenly into all cabbage leaves. Be sure to use gloves to do this, otherwise, your hands will burn from the chili flakes. If you are pressed for time, mix seasoning ingredients with about a cup of warm water before adding them to cabbage to allow for easier distribution on cabbage leaves.

Transfer seasoned cabbage leaves into a large glass bottle. Be sure to use firm pressure with your hands to push down on cabbage leaves as they stack up inside the bottle. Transfer any liquid that accumulated during the mixing process into the bottle as well – it will become kim chi brine. Some liquid will also come out of the cabbage leaves as you press down on them as they are stacked in the bottle.

Leave about 2 inches of room at the top of the bottle before capping it tightly with a lid. Allow bottle of kim chi to sit at room temperature for 2-3 days.

Your kim chi is now ready to eat. Use scissors or a knife and cutting board to cut cabbage leaves into 2 inch pieces before serving as a side dish to a bowl of rice, soup, and perhaps a piece of fish. Refrigerate remaining kim chi and take out small portions right before meals. The refrigerated kim chi will continue to ferment slowly in the refrigerator over time, becoming more sour and flavorful with each passing day. So long as you use clean utensils to take out small portions, it will keep for up to a month in your refrigerator.


Its been almost a month since we have heard from Kennedy Wong and Sittingpugs whispering sweet nothings to each other through Sports blogs, so I thought I would call this the Simply-Wongless to replace The Blasians “weekly, I mean bi-weekly, oh wait lets just make it quarterly” Simply Ricockulous. I thought you were are NBA guy or basketball guy….hasn’t there been big signings at the college ranks and playoff match ups? Fam, you truly are the one who is Ricockulous!

"Since Kennedy Wong isn't here no one on DMZ sports loves me! "

-DMZ sports

Video of the week:

Can you believe he plays D-3?

No words

No one has posted since The Collins Effect. So I wanted to throw something up there that was fresh for any of our followers. Recently the circulation of Ghetto work out videos have been making there way around the DMZ teachers.  At first I thought these were going to be mock work out videos until I saw these CRAZY works on top of Bus stations, cross walk signs, playgrounds, park pavilions, and trash cans.

What you need:

All the participants appear to be on HGH or some other form of The Clear. They are crazy swoll.  Just noticing but you haven’t seen any white guys caught doing the Ghetto workout, but I have concluded that John Cena must have had an official “24 ghetto pass “.  John has jorts, no shorts, quarterback wrist bands (substitute for gloves), as for shoes? ask The Mark.

John loves Jorts

Ghetto Workout even has a celebrity representative (Cause people under WWE contracts do not count as celebrities)….

Who can forget the Driveway workout/interview

Terrell practiced the principals of the 24 hr Ghetto Workout by doing sit-ups  during his interview in a driveway. Way to rep’ it TO!

Enjoy these masterpieces

Yeah I know! Now you do too….

The Bearded Guy

How about KOREA: BLING BLING?!?

On Saturday I am officially requesting that the Korean Government change its slogan from “KOREA; SPARKLING!!” to “KOREA; SPARKLING FOOD POISONING.” I went out this last week with a couple of my fellow co-workers to celebrate the start of a new school year.  Naturally, I was psyched, because my personal life (iemoving apts and a plethora of other things) had been keeping me busy and kind of aloof lately. So this was a great opportunity for me to spend “quality time” with some individuals I genuinely like!  And, after my colleagues decided that ingesting large amounts of it, would be the best way to actually turn me into a Soju Bottle (소주), then decided (and I, in my newly found Soju induced INFINITE WISDOM, concurred) that it would be a great idea to eat lots of delicious raw meat called Bossam (보쌈) and (probably rotten) fish parts.  However, for some reason, the combination of the food and Soju decided they didn’t like foreigners and caused your favorite Blasian to hold all day meetings for the next 2 days in the Porcelain Room (or as the Koreans call it the 화장실 – I’ll let you translate that one on your own). And seeing as how within the last 2 -3 weeks about 4 other English Teachers here have had some varying level of Food Poisoning.  I think my request to change the slogan is not completely RiCOCKulous……

But the week is already starting to get better, as I have beautiful young women writing me poems (thanks again by the way) and come on, it can’t get much better than that!!!  So now that we’re all caught up on the life of K. Wong, it’s time for this weeks’………“Simply RiCOCKulous!”


1) I’m going to go out on a limb here and predict the Heisman winner for next year in College Football right now!  JEREMIAH MASOLI!!!…That’s right he’s going to finally get Oregon over the hump and out of USC’s shadow and lead his team to prominence…Well, that’s probably what I would have wrote if he hadn’t just been suspended for the ENTIRE Football SEASON next year for one of the most RiCOCKulous things ever!! Mr. Masoli decided it would be a great idea to steal a pair of laptops and a guitar!

Dude you were probably going to make millions in a little bit over a year by being selected in the NFL Draft….but NOOO! U you just couldn’t wait till then to get some new computers and live out your John Mayer fantasies, could you???  And I understand that you needed a computer with the faster bandwidth and increased memory so you can get the most out of Windows 7 and finish writing your thesis on the virtues of Man Coverage vs Zone, buf if you needed a computer that bad, go to the BOOSTERS!! That’s what they are there for!!  So to Jeremiah “I just lost a shot at the Heisman and Millions of Dollars” Massoli,  you might be able to know where to attack a zone coverage but your decision making ability off the field is…“Simply RiCOCKulous”!

Say Bye-Bye Jeremiah!!

2) The BeardedMan recommended that I talk about the Family Love-Fest that is NFL D-II Draft Prospect Tony Washington and the fact that HE REALLY DOES LOVE his family a little too much, but I thought that went beyond the RiCOCKulous, to the just plain disturbing.  So for this weeks second entry, I’m going to talk about the bore fest that was the Pacquiao vs. Clottey fight on this past Saturday. OMG if you paid money to see that, I’m sooooooo sorry and you have my deepest condolences.  I understand that Clottey had a defensive strategy but dang!! The entire fight could be summed up like this. 1st) Bell Rings 2nd) Manny comes out and punches and Clottey comes out and goes into the fetal position for a little over 2 mins. And every once in awhile Clottey would come out of his shell to hit Pac-Man with the an UPPERCUT (which I have no idea how he never saw coming!!) And the worst part is…I chose to watch the fight rather than go to the Penis and Vagina Festival in Japan!…I guess I’ll know better next time!

Anyway, here’s to hoping the Mayweather vs. Mosley fight is WAY more entertaining.  So to those who conspired to deny us the Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight for the Clottey fight instead…you are “Simply RiCOCKulous”!


3) It is quite possibly the greatest time of the year for any basketball fan!  That’s right March Madness has officially descended upon us and if you are a manager, good luck getting people to do  work for the next couple of weeks…Plus, by now I’m sure you are tired of hearing about John Wall, Kentucky and Kansas!  And unlike the Mark or the BeardedMan I won’t continue to bore you with talk of the NCAA Tourney.  Instead I’ll focus on the ONLY BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT that matters…..that’s right, the N.I.T. aka the National Invitational Tournament (and not the “NOT INVITED Tournament” as some so rudely refer to it).

But in order to fully appreciate the majesty that is the N.I.T. let’s first imagine being the most powerful and respected person in your field and then having it all slip away when the new hot shot arrives to take your spot!  And now imagine the hard work you have ahead of yourself as you try to get back some semblance of the respect and power you had.  No, I’m not describing the plot for the new “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps” movie, but the history of the N.I.T. Tourney which is actually older and originally crowned the National Champion until the NCAA decided to expand it’s tourney!

The Business World's version of the N.I.T.

And just to prove to you how great the N.I.T. is…where else are you going to see Annual College Basketball powers like Memphis, North Carolina, and UCONN play this March?  That’s right not in that SISSY NCAA Tourney, but only in the N.I.T.  now add to that a great lineup a Cincinnati team that was ranked as high as the top teens this year and let the fun begin.  That other tourney has 65 teams. Which means anybody and they momma could get in!! But not so in the MANLY N.I.T., only the most hardened 32 teams were lucky enough to be selected for the Mortal Kombat of College Basketball!

As always, I'll be picking Sub-Zero!!

However, I do have some bad news for those of you Illinois fans b/c all though the Illini are a No. 1 seed in the DANGEROUS and EXCITING N.I.T., you won’t be able to go to the 1st-round game because Cirque du Soleil is performing at the Assembly Hall this week.  But irregardless of that, don’t think for one minute that the N.I.T. is not taken seriously by the participating institutions and its fans!

Is this really more important than the N.I.T.?!?!

So here are my predictions for the real Final Four…that’s right the N.I.T. Final Four; Memphis, Missippi St, UCONN and Cincy.  And despite the close call to Northeastern University…I’m  going with UCONN to win it all…So to all of those so called fans who will watch the SISSY NCAA Tourney and not the N.I.T. you guys are ….“Simply RiCOCKulous”… we all know the real action is in the N.I.T.!

– Kennedy Wong  a.k.a. The Blasian

As most of our readers know, we are English teachers in Korea. Now I am in a similar boat as The Mark, I do not really care who wins these Olympic games or who participates in them. Sure if its on I will be watching, but I do not know the schedule, the athletes or many of the story lines besides what Tony and Michael talk about during the Morning PTI, 5:30 PM Eastern/7:30 Am KST. 

I believe the correct term is Photo terrorism.

According to them, PETA is not thrilled with Johnny Weir,  I could have gone without seeing his costumes. But If I had to witness them so you do! Anyways beyond that and the talks of Lindsey Vonn’s calf, I did not know whats happening with the American teams and individuals in Vancouver. 

That all changed yesterday as my administrator turned on the Korean broadcast of the Olympics. During what happen to be one of their main events, Speed Skating.  Now I have seen Koreans practicing speed skating….I have never seen any one in the United States speed skate. So I thought, ‘cool’, we are head to head, they can celebrate their victory of over America and it will all be a great day.’ 

Things started out great, we were in second with about 6 runs left, my administrator turned to me and fist pumped after one of the runs….Let them celebrate its Speed Skating… a crowd of the teachers started to gather around the computer and take in the event. This was going to be their Gold

Enter Shani Davis of Chicago,  and the second to last heat, six of us watching: four teachers, one administrator, and the foreigner (me),  mix in a language barrier and you are primed. Mo Tae-Bum had already set the standard with a time of 1:09.12.  As the race started they got closer to the screen trying to will on their skater to beat Davis, to have a collective fist pump in my direction. But coming around the second turn it was evident, that this guy was not their savior, Davis took over and started putting some distance between them, but things were still alright with the Koreans due to Mo Tae-Bum’s performance. 

Vh1 Best Month Ever Candidate: February-Shani Davis

Yet as Davis kept moving faster and things started to look pretty grim for South Korea and me. I started getting glances, looks of disappointment. Davis crossed and he was the new leader, 1:08.94, the Americans ran on to the ice and were congratulating him, and the Korean station showed it all. Let me say this my co-workers were not mad at me….just disappointed, kind of like “how could you have done this to us, Bearded Guy. How could you win this one?” 

How does one respond to that? 

I can’t say “I didn’t know we even had a team.” Although that would be mostly true, I do not want to hurt their feelings more, by saying “I did not even care about the event.” All I could do was sheepishly shrug. Avoiding their further embarrassment, they quickly dispersed but the damage had been done, at least to their psyche. 

Sorry Korea,  we are better at most sports, some that we do not even know about, than you! Beyond that apparently we have more in speed skating than Apolo Anton Ohno, who is also the arch-enemy of South Korea. I think they hate soul patches! 

Apparently this is the worse way to win in Korea: having to Stand next to Ohno

Note:  How does the US women hockey team beat Russia 13-0? Isn’t hockey their thing? Could I compare it to United States losing in football internationally? Thoughts? 

1000m Long Track Champion represent 

The Bearded Guy 

The Winter Olympics start on Friday and I think I care less about them than I did about the Super Bowl.  The Super Bowl had a team I don’t care about (New Orleans) against a team I hate (Indianapolis).  Throw in the fact that I’m not in the states and the Super Bowl might as well have been the NHL Finals, except for the whole Jim Nantz thing.

I think the Penguins won the last Stanley Cup but I'm not sure

I guess I used to watch the Winter Olympics but I can’t remember anything memorable happening except for the Miracle on Ice, the Nancy Kerrigan – Tonya Harding thing and Dan Jansen getting his heart-broken over and over.  The only thing the Winter Olympics might be good for is to introduce you (me) to exotic, beautiful, foreign, female figure skaters.  It started with Katarina Witt in and then it was Kristi Yamaguchi and Oksana Baiul.  I don’t think I’ve watched too much of the last two Winter Olympics because I can’t think of any hot chicks from those games.

I’m sure the Winter Olympics offer more than just watching scantily clad, hot females, but what?  Why should I spend more than five minutes watching these games?  Part of my problem watching the Olympics is that the coverage was always America Über Alles no matter what channel they were on.  That won’t be a problem here in Korea but I still don’t care.  I’m pretty sure the coverage here will be very Korea-centric.  If a South Korean wins a  silver or bronze medal, forget about it.  If a gold is won by a Korean athlete, that athlete will automatically be the best ever at that sport and later we’ll find out how Korea invented that particular sport.    

If Kim Yu-Na wins gold in Vancouver, look for some history to be rewritten

To be honest, I’m not much of a winter person and maybe that’s why the 21st Winter Olympiad is being met with so much indifference by me.  Wait, I hate running but I am a huge track and field guy during the Summer Olympics so the lack of love for the cold can’t be the reason.  If anyone has any ideas on why I should watch the games from Vancouver, let me know. 

Is the fact that I loathe Canada a reason for my apathy?

America's upstairs neighbor