Jersey Shore – An Update, You Know You Want It

Posted: April 27, 2010 by The Mark in Televison
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Jersey Shore season 2 is currently filming so I thought I’d give an update on everyone’s favorite TV show.  This is some info I’ve learned from scouring the internet.  I know you could just as easily look everything up instead of reading it here but I’ve done all the work so you don’t have to.  Reverse Oreo Sports is here for you.  We got your back.

The gang's all here, even Angelina

Season 2 will start in Miami and then return to New Jersey once the juiceheads and skanks…errr….women of questionable character make their yearly pilgrimage back the Jersey Shore.  The cast will again be put to work.  It seems they will be working at Lecca-Lecca Gelato Café.  No word on if they’ll be working at the t-shirt shop once they go back to Jersey.  I hope so.  I miss seeing those MILF Hunter t-shirts.

I'd buy this shirt

The original cast is back.  Yes, that means Angelina (the self-proclaimed Kim Kardashian of Staten Island) will be back, cock-blocking her way into everyone’s heart.  I read that she actually showed up with real luggage this time, not trash bags.  Maybe her married boyfriend bought them for her.  I’m disappointed.  I thought her not yet divorced boyfriend would’ve knocked her up by now.  I still think she doesn’t last a full season.  Word is that the other cast members on the show are not happy with her being back and they don’t get along with her.  This can’t be good for her lasting ability.

Don't get too attached, she won't last, again

J-WOWW was said to be upset with having to endure another season of the show.  I bet she’s not upset with earning 10 large an episode.  She says she’s not friends with any of the cast members except Snooki.  I hope her attitude changes because she was too quiet in season one.  I kept waiting for her break-out moment but it never happened.  Yes, that shot to The Situation’s grill was nice but I think she has more potential.  Hopefully J-WOWW goes into season 2 unfettered and just grinds on every guy she sees.  Wait…that’s what she did in season one.  I mean, I want to see a J-WOWW hook-up and flame out.  That would be very entertaining.  She’s decided against getting more breast implants.  Booooo!!!!  J-WOWW already has some of the worst fake tits so why not get more and make herself into a cartoon character.

Why am I here, I hate everyone, except Snooki

Ronnie has been exonerated from his one-sided fight with that douche from last season.  He has split from Sammi in between the reunion and the new tapings.  “I cut girls quicker than barbers do.”?????  He was so whipped in season 1 that I believe he (tries to) hooks up Sammi in season 2 but that would be a shame.  Please Ronnie, stay away from that wet noodle Sammi and let your freak flag fly.  I also heard that Ronnie and J-WOWW are writing a book called, “Never Fall In Love On The Jersey Shore”.  I wonder if they write their drafts in crayon?

Come at me bro!

Will this be the season where Snooki finally hooks up?  You better believe it!  Seems Snooki has given up tanning for sun in a bottle.  Wow!  I hope this doesn’t kill the tanning industry.  Who cares how she gets her look since we all know that she or any of the other cast members can’t be bothered to lay out in the REAL sun.  The sun of South Beach will be wasted on them.  The one thing I know is that a lot of pickles will be eaten.

The sun is for suckers

I don’t have a lot to say about Sammi, DJ Pauly D, Vinny and The Situation.  Sammi will most likely be playing Ronnie and The Situation against each other while sucking the fun out of everything the gang is trying to do.  DJ Pauly D has been making mad money spinning all over the US.  I hope his Israeli stalker, ex-girlfriend shows up in Miami and Jersey.  That would be fantastic.  Vinny is just Vinny.  Even though in my last Jersey Shore post I said we would see a big change in Vinny, I’ve changed my mind and bet he’ll be the same as season 1.  He’ll be the smartest and funniest cast member on the show.  “How’s my dick taste bro?”  The Situation will finally hook up in season two but he’ll strikeout more than he scores.

No more grenades

I read MTV is looking into a Snooki-Situation spin-off.  How awesome would that be?  Also, it seems MTV is looking for more juiced-up, tanned cast members to join during season 2.  This is a great idea.  Having others join will insure the longevity of the show.  As much as I like Jersey Shore, I think the original cast will get old during or after this season.  Adding fresh meat will make the transition between seasons easier.  Jersey Shore 20!!!  Let’s make it happen.  Hopefully these new cast members are fresh and not knock-offs of the original cast.  There’s only one Situation.

You know you would so watch The Situation and Snooki Show

Three months until the season two premier.  GTL for life!!!!

Special thanks to:

mtv.com, tmz.com, miamiherald.com, ew.com, nydailynews.com

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