How about KOREA: BLING BLING?!?
On Saturday I am officially requesting that the Korean Government change its slogan from “KOREA; SPARKLING!!” to “KOREA; SPARKLING FOOD POISONING.” I went out this last week with a couple of my fellow co-workers to celebrate the start of a new school year. Naturally, I was psyched, because my personal life (ie…moving apts and a plethora of other things) had been keeping me busy and kind of aloof lately. So this was a great opportunity for me to spend “quality time” with some individuals I genuinely like! And, after my colleagues decided that ingesting large amounts of it, would be the best way to actually turn me into a Soju Bottle (소주), then decided (and I, in my newly found Soju induced INFINITE WISDOM, concurred) that it would be a great idea to eat lots of delicious raw meat called Bossam (보쌈) and (probably rotten) fish parts. However, for some reason, the combination of the food and Soju decided they didn’t like foreigners and caused your favorite Blasian to hold all day meetings for the next 2 days in the Porcelain Room (or as the Koreans call it the 화장실 – I’ll let you translate that one on your own). And seeing as how within the last 2 -3 weeks about 4 other English Teachers here have had some varying level of Food Poisoning. I think my request to change the slogan is not completely RiCOCKulous……
But the week is already starting to get better, as I have beautiful young women writing me poems (thanks again by the way) and come on, it can’t get much better than that!!! So now that we’re all caught up on the life of K. Wong, it’s time for this weeks’………“Simply RiCOCKulous!”
1) I’m going to go out on a limb here and predict the Heisman winner for next year in College Football right now! JEREMIAH MASOLI!!!…That’s right he’s going to finally get Oregon over the hump and out of USC’s shadow and lead his team to prominence…Well, that’s probably what I would have wrote if he hadn’t just been suspended for the ENTIRE Football SEASON next year for one of the most RiCOCKulous things ever!! Mr. Masoli decided it would be a great idea to steal a pair of laptops and a guitar!
Dude you were probably going to make millions in a little bit over a year by being selected in the NFL Draft….but NOOO! U you just couldn’t wait till then to get some new computers and live out your John Mayer fantasies, could you??? And I understand that you needed a computer with the faster bandwidth and increased memory so you can get the most out of Windows 7 and finish writing your thesis on the virtues of Man Coverage vs Zone, buf if you needed a computer that bad, go to the BOOSTERS!! That’s what they are there for!! So to Jeremiah “I just lost a shot at the Heisman and Millions of Dollars” Massoli, you might be able to know where to attack a zone coverage but your decision making ability off the field is…“Simply RiCOCKulous”!
Say Bye-Bye Jeremiah!!
2) The BeardedMan recommended that I talk about the Family Love-Fest that is NFL D-II Draft Prospect Tony Washington and the fact that HE REALLY DOES LOVE his family a little too much, but I thought that went beyond the RiCOCKulous, to the just plain disturbing. So for this weeks second entry, I’m going to talk about the bore fest that was the Pacquiao vs. Clottey fight on this past Saturday. OMG if you paid money to see that, I’m sooooooo sorry and you have my deepest condolences. I understand that Clottey had a defensive strategy but dang!! The entire fight could be summed up like this. 1st) Bell Rings 2nd) Manny comes out and punches and Clottey comes out and goes into the fetal position for a little over 2 mins. And every once in awhile Clottey would come out of his shell to hit Pac-Man with the an UPPERCUT (which I have no idea how he never saw coming!!) And the worst part is…I chose to watch the fight rather than go to the Penis and Vagina Festival in Japan!…I guess I’ll know better next time!
Anyway, here’s to hoping the Mayweather vs. Mosley fight is WAY more entertaining. So to those who conspired to deny us the Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight for the Clottey fight instead…you are “Simply RiCOCKulous”!
3) It is quite possibly the greatest time of the year for any basketball fan! That’s right March Madness has officially descended upon us and if you are a manager, good luck getting people to do work for the next couple of weeks…Plus, by now I’m sure you are tired of hearing about John Wall, Kentucky and Kansas! And unlike the Mark or the BeardedMan I won’t continue to bore you with talk of the NCAA Tourney. Instead I’ll focus on the ONLY BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT that matters…..that’s right, the N.I.T. aka the National Invitational Tournament (and not the “NOT INVITED Tournament” as some so rudely refer to it).
But in order to fully appreciate the majesty that is the N.I.T. let’s first imagine being the most powerful and respected person in your field and then having it all slip away when the new hot shot arrives to take your spot! And now imagine the hard work you have ahead of yourself as you try to get back some semblance of the respect and power you had. No, I’m not describing the plot for the new “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps” movie, but the history of the N.I.T. Tourney which is actually older and originally crowned the National Champion until the NCAA decided to expand it’s tourney!
The Business World's version of the N.I.T.
And just to prove to you how great the N.I.T. is…where else are you going to see Annual College Basketball powers like Memphis, North Carolina, and UCONN play this March? That’s right not in that SISSY NCAA Tourney, but only in the N.I.T. now add to that a great lineup a Cincinnati team that was ranked as high as the top teens this year and let the fun begin. That other tourney has 65 teams. Which means anybody and they momma could get in!! But not so in the MANLY N.I.T., only the most hardened 32 teams were lucky enough to be selected for the Mortal Kombat of College Basketball!
As always, I'll be picking Sub-Zero!!
However, I do have some bad news for those of you Illinois fans b/c all though the Illini are a No. 1 seed in the DANGEROUS and EXCITING N.I.T., you won’t be able to go to the 1st-round game because Cirque du Soleil is performing at the Assembly Hall this week. But irregardless of that, don’t think for one minute that the N.I.T. is not taken seriously by the participating institutions and its fans!
Is this really more important than the N.I.T.?!?!
So here are my predictions for the real Final Four…that’s right the N.I.T. Final Four; Memphis, Missippi St, UCONN and Cincy. And despite the close call to Northeastern University…I’m going with UCONN to win it all…So to all of those so called fans who will watch the SISSY NCAA Tourney and not the N.I.T. you guys are ….“Simply RiCOCKulous”… we all know the real action is in the N.I.T.!
– Kennedy Wong a.k.a. The Blasian
Reverse Oreo Sports 
화장실
Hwa Jang Shil. Interesting. It’s probably a cognate with 化妝室 in Chinese; it’s pronounced “hwa juang shi” in Mandarin and means “make-up room.”
But the week is already starting to get better, as I have beautiful young women writing me poems
Are there more than wong of ming? (You’re welcome and a friend of mine decided that “wong” could be “one;” I concur…opens so many doors).
Yea, a lot of the Korean is based in Hanja (Chinese)here….and you probably already know this but Korean’s have 2 ways to count and one of them is basically their version of the Chinese Numbers……and no, there is only wong poet for ming!!
My mom likes to watch Korean dramas and every now & then she’ll inform me of all the similar-sounding words with such excitement!
My favorite triple play (for Mandarin, Korean, and Japanese) is for “library.”
Blasian, are you serious? No one cares about the NIT. I’m a huge North Carolina fan but I won’t watch one minute of the NIT. Why? Because UNC wins REAL championships. Winning the NIT doesn’t mean anything unless you’re from a school who hasn’t won anything.
You are the biggest HOMER I’ve ever met. Forget about going to USC and go to Michigan. You’ll fit in perfectly with the yuppies in Ann Arbor. Then you can tell us how you’ve liked Michigan all along and how the Las vegas Bowl is the best bowl in college football because Michigan is in it.
Then OBVIOUSLY you fit into the SISSY NCAA Fan club don’t you???…and FYI, just b/c U don’t like something..it doesn’t mean NO ONE else does or cares about it…b/c if that was the case then there wouldn’t be a such thing as an N.I.T. in the first place now would there??
Furthermore, UNC isn’t winning a REAL championship this year, so you should enjoy watching the N.I.T.’s! But since it appears that b/c your team isn’t in the NCAA Tourney, you won’t be pulling for them, which in my opinion makes you a fair weather fan. The WORST kind of FAN there is..And not even a real fan in the first place!!…
Besides I unlike some people ….don’t talk about my fave teams all the time and try to remain unbiased…b/c nowhere in the post do I even say who my fave team is…matter of fact I never have said that in any of my posts…so I def couldn’t be a Homer, unlike you….Father of Bart!!